I have a renewed commitment to listen to my instincts.  I wouldn’t call it a resolution as much as a habit-under-development.  By now most resolutions are starting to fall to the wayside and the act of breaking them is almost as ritualistic as making them in the first place.

I think everyone has that “voice in their head” that has grown from experiences, role models and environment.  Some call it the 6th sense, others call it a conscience.  Reporters call it their “nose” and detectives call it a “hunch.”  Manly men call it their “gut” and womanly women call it “intuition.” More often than not it’s pretty good advice and worth at least listening to, but how many of us ignore the red flags anyway?

A classic example of such folly is a horror movie.  The quintessential hiker lost in the woods finds a creepy house and, despite the music playing, goes inside and takes a shower (WHY?  Can’t they hear the music?) 

I don’t remember a lot of help developing my instincts.  They didn’t even have a class in college for it.   But many agree the first response is the correct one.  I would even challenge you to keep track of decisions based on listening or ignoring them – and see what the success rate of each direction is.

Consider instincts to be the voice of experience.  The older one gets, the more they experience.  Patterns become obvious.   Pop culture is notorious for this.  Pick your favorite fad or movie and go back 10 years to see what was popular then.  You will be shocked at the similarity.

I look forward to your response and comments are welcome.  Although I have a “feeling” you’ll be more focused on your own development and too busy to post.

On the viability of an idea, a wise man once told me: “I take every good idea and blow holes in it.”  It sounded pretty insane to me at the time.  Everyone has a bit of self-consciousness, even an inferiority complex to a certain degree.  Why develop that?

Negativity is never in short-supply.  You don’t need to encourage anyone to criticize you – most will even do it for free.  I have never met any successful people in any walk of life who didn’t meet with a great deal of adversity in some form.

But then I looked at his method from a self-preservation perspective.  He would pretend to completely hate what he created, and what was left was what was worth developing.  He wasn’t being his own worst enemy, he was being prepared.  By refining the idea, he was ready with the right answer to any potential glitch.  If chance favors the prepared, then it should be impressed as well.

So despite my creative nature, I will develop my business sense to include a dispassionate counsel.  A refined idea meeting a practical application beats blind ambition meeting a bird cage floor.

Seek to understand first and be understood second.  I’m paraphrasing a great quote that advises the path to quality communication.  It’s good direction for business, personal, even casual interactions.  When you find someone interesting, they’re obliged to return the favor.  Some who feel uncomfortable talking about themselves may even let you dominate the conversation.

But if the opposite exists, does this mean that you can’t follow your own agenda for the meeting?

In addressing just business interactions here, it’s still a tricky social game and there are many rules of engagement.  You want to show respect without allowing for too many tangents.  You don’t want to be the Everyman but you do hope to grow more opportunities.  You need to demonstrate your character without overdoing it.

In my experience, developing a sense for people can be seen as a talent or a skill, but one that requires honing nonetheless.  I’ve never met a good salesperson who didn’t start out rough, awkward and green.  Everyone has to pay their dues, but is there an economy plan?

Indeed there are some shortcuts.

1) Understand their needs.  They’ve obviously agreed to discuss a particular interest with you.  Respect the interest for what it is and don’t try and overwhelm them with options.  I’ve seen too many a salesperson derail their own opportunity by diverting the interest (and thereby, the sale)

2) Be prepared.  Pretend they know nothing and have more questions than you’ve ever fielded.  If you’re informed, you’ll impress.

3) Give-and-take.  Ask a question about their goals when they have a question about implementing your service or product.  You may find that there are other applications they don’t know about – or that a different option is in their best interests.

4)  Be them.  Pretend that the roles are reversed.  It’s the Golden Rule in sales.  Perception is a powerful thing and you want to convince them you’re genuine.  The best way?  Be genuine! 

With every interaction, as with every game, there is a winner and a loser.  While losing may be their losing their budget to your options, it can also be your options not being what they need.  As long as you maintain your character and integrity, there will be more opportunities to replace those that failed to blossom.

Call me a rebel, but when it comes to gifts, I believe it really is “the thought that counts.” With the struggling economy, perhaps we should all focus a little less on materials and more on making memories.

Some of the greatest memories I have of the holidays had little-to-nothing to do with purchasing. I cherished the classic Christmas music playing throughout the house, helping my mom decorate (she was so particular about the way the tinsel lay on the tree!) and especially helping make cookies!

When it comes to making a similar impact on your children, there are several timeless directions to consider:

1) Snow-flake-a-rama! How easy and low-mess to create paper snow flakes. Use colored construction paper for a fun twist that can fit with your décor.  Fold, snip and discover. It nurtures a child’s curiosity, creativity and provides quick results. Fill up the house for a few bucks in paper and a pair of scissors.

2) DOUGH! Even if you’re not a fan of baking, grab a few tubes of pre-made cookie dough and see what happens. You don’t have to use cookie cutters – older children and a butter knife can make for some fun results. Younger chefs can even sculpt an original. Whether you cook up the products or just video tape the experience, you’ll be amazed at what your child thinks up. Don’t forget the colored sprinkles!

3) Time capsule: You may think you take enough photos/video/scrapbook material but how many do you actually save or print? Record your child’s thoughts about the holidays, even record them or just their voice in a mock interview. While you may find it commonplace now, that innocent perspective will be priceless to you and them in years to come. Make it an annual tradition and let it grow to include eventual spouses and grandchildren.

4) Remember where you came from: For your parents or even grandparents, compose a list of what you valued most about the holidays with them. They’ll be surprised at some of the things that made an impact. Use parchment paper, write in calligraphy, put a hand print on it – whatever makes it special and “frame-worthy.” At their age, they’ll appreciate it much more than “just something else to dust.”

As an artist, I’m sensitive to pluralism – or at least the duality of many things.  This year has sped by and yet is far from over;  We are a society that maintains a certain conservatism and yet is also very expressive;  There is seldom a question about what we as individuals love and yet it is not always made obvious.

From just these 3 examples, I apply an awareness of the season as it approaches.  It is such a beautiful time of year and one that elicits powerful emotions and passionate beliefs.  Unfortunately, it can also be quickly corrupted by commercialism, ignorance, and ego.

Regardless of your convictions, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we acted deliberately, reflectively, and respectfully as we savored the holidays?  I witness many who celebrate a tradition of setting aside petty differences, show a little more courtesy, and spread good will.  How powerful if that tradition extended beyond a 2 month period!

While I’m sure I’m not the first to extol this perspective, I can hope that my voice will be added to the collective, and have a ripple effect. 

You too can be a part of such a movement, and I hope that this holiday season brings you and yours peace and joy.