I don’t know of a company or corporation that doesn’t have a dress code.  In fact, some positions are known by their dress code or uniform.  It’s part of the branding process.  It isn’t even a business perspective - have you ever seen a man dressed all in black with a white collar and NOT known what he was? (for the atheists, the answer would be “a priest”)

Another advantage of uniforms are that they hold the mystique to others as well as certain behavioral parameters.  Police officers come to mind - there are strict codes for what actions and behaviors are allowed, tolerated or even encouraged depending on whether or not the officer is “on duty”

But there is another side to being in uniform.  And my message today really only applies to those who are true “company” - they may or may not own the business, but they’ve bought into it - all the way. 

And I’m not really addressing workaholics here (besides, that’s a pretty silly term anyway - is there even such a thing as “workahol”?  I think Webster’s needs to get involved with that one.)  What I am talking about are those people who have strong work ethics and morals.  They have a sense of balance and they aren’t afraid to put full value forth to benefit their employer.

Have you ever found it difficult to relax after work?  Do you find yourself gravitating towards business-related tasks as a bad habit of sorts - or as if you’re running on automatic pilot?  Did you notice that you haven’t changed your clothes yet?

This is a psychological condition that affects many who have established a certain momentum in their schedule.  The uniform, the brand, the persona, etc. is also a state of mind that becomes you.  At the risk of being corny, your “work mode” is in many ways a different person altogether.

The solution is to change your clothes - in fact, have certain garb options that fit ONLY into “relaxing clothes”  This habit holds true at the beginning of your day.  If you’re not ready to start work, don’t start dressing the part too soon.  The switch comes on once that last lace or button is done.

The necktie in particular has often been called the “corporate noose” (ever notice the similarities?)  Sometimes that is all it takes to restrict the blood flow and turn off any relaxing thoughts you may ever have for the rest of your shift.

So take a moment to reflect upon your state of mind, your environment, and make the mental note to arrest your unconscious habits.  Once you’ve made the change (literally) you’ll find that you truly have “clocked out for the day.”

The price-gougers, the cost-cutters, the bargain-basement operators.  Sounds pretty good to the average shopper doesn’t it?

But have you ever purchased something that didn’t live up to the bargain?  That cheap pair of shoes that you had to replace 3 more times in a year, the bulk jar of ketchup that you used just as fast as the regular size, the generic brand electronic device that (”oh by the way”) doesn’t have all the features as the real deal.

The same holds true with services.  Of course everyone has budgets and as service providers we want to be sensitive to those budgets.  Unlike Congress, when there’s no money for something - there really ISN’T a way to pay for it.  And when you’re hanging out your shingle, you don’t want to out-price everyone.  The market can only bear so much.

But the other side of the coin is some things just cost what they cost.  I’ve never known the price of gold to be up for a haggle.  It may rise or fall, but does that have to do with one person’s decision (conspiracy theorists need not comment here!)

So when you’ve achieved the highest degree, the most experience and can do things the best, you’re worth your investment.  Are you a ”Nike” or a “K Swiss”?  Are you a “Coke” or a “Faygo”?  Are you a “Rolls Royce” or a “Chevy”?  All are good brands and I’d take any of them if they were offered.  They simply cost what they cost. 

The hardest thing you may ever have to do is take pride in your skills and abilities and even tell a potential (or current) client “I don’t need your business” - or even fire them! 

If you’re doing your best and “you’re worth what you’re worth”, you’re dealing with business that will never respect you anyway and (even if they go with a cheap competitor) it reflects on their ethics - they’ll get what they pay for:  Low quality, suspicious business practices (maybe even illegal) and ultimately you dont’ want to be associated with any of that!  Trust me, they’ll be replaced with the kind of clients you want (and most likely will not only be able to afford you, but never think twice about doing it right.)

Ultimately, the things that shouldn’t be open for negotiation are your character and integrity.

I’m writing this one from a creative’s perspective, but it could apply to anyone who works hard and believes in the work that they do.

When you’re “living the dream”, whatever that dream may be, it’s very easy to trade off the important things in your life (health, personal growth, fitness, loved ones, etc.) as a price.  The saddest part is that you don’t have to.  It’s all about balance and maintaining a sense of mortality.

When we’re young, we’re unconscious. We’re limited only by our imagination.  Reckless abandon and an invulnerable sense blind us to the big picture.  It’s why we equate age with wisdom.  Slowing down causes us to reflect more (have you ever seen a memoir by a 20-year old?)

The trouble is that the momentum of youth can often carry over into the rest of our life - and along with it high blood pressure, anxiety, heart disease, and all other sorts of nasty.

Ironically, the good habits and achieving balance also follow the same advice and direction of an efficiency expert.  If you work hard but also play hard (or rest hard) then you’re going to be sharper, stronger, healthier, more productive AND have all the other priorities in your life maintained (loved ones, your faith, smelling the roses, etc.)

In the grand scheme of things, you’re just a blip on the timeline.  Recognize that life was here before you and will carry on (”some how”) without you.  Savor your time and make it last because you’ll be judged by how you lived (and eternity is a loooooong time)

It’s an ironic and saddening human characteristic that many creatives face - Backlash.

You receive a lot of support and encouragement to develop, achieve, succeed and then face (sometimes) the same people and their green-eyed monster.

To put this into further context, while the backlash can come from anywhere it’s unlikely to come from anyone who truly cares about you.  That being stated, you also must realize how very special you and your abilities are (while staying humble, of course!)

It’s truly rare, given the grand scheme of things, to find someone who a) Knows what they want to do with their life; b) Actually sets out to achieve it and; c) Achieves it!  To meet someone who’s “living the dream” can sit uneasy with many who haven’t discerned the above.

The backlashers probably won’t actively undermine your career like some arch-enemy in a comic book, but they won’t necessarily sing your praises either.  If they were once your biggest fan, they may start to realize that they’ve been living vicariously through you and that they haven’t amounted to a hill of beans.  Such an epiphany is shocking.

The backlash could come from your competition as well - this speaks to business ethics which, sadly, not enough people or corporations follow.

So how to deal? 

1) Stay the course:  Obviously your clients like you and what you represent.  Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. 

2) Educate your clients on your abilities, any new developments or products.  They may be looking for “something different” and just not know you do that too.

3) Treat every good client like you would your own family.  Develop loyalty and compassion.  When you’re able to forge even a quasi-personal relationship, clients will be less likely to want to change.

4) Be sensitive to budgets when necessary.  Sometimes the decision is out of the hands of your relationship - even long-standing.  Sometimes contacts change.  Turnover is inevitable.  If they’re all about “who can do it the cheapest” though, they’ll always look for a way to low-ball you - you don’t need clients like that.  Some day they’ll learn you always get what you pay for.

5) Keep walking the high path:  Always say the nicest (honest) thing you can about anyone you may be associated with.  You never know who-knows-who and how they may be judging your character.  If your reputation is strong, anyone who tries to tarnish you will only do themselves the dirt.

I like to be ideal and dismiss the notion that anyone would fail to see the big picture - there’s plenty for everyone (especially in our society) and there’s room for all sorts of styles, talents, abilities, and skills.  However this is sadly not the case.  Lean on your support network, keep your focus strong and your conscience clear. 

Against backlashers, success is the best revenge anyway.

To be an artist means that you’ve probably received one of the following:

1) A galvanization of adversity and are too stubborn to quit (like many many many success stories, by the way) 

2) A strong network of friends and family who have always said “you can do it!” and helped you believe just that.

3) A combination of both (like yours truly)

I wish to speak to “#2″ because it is perhaps the most powerful and yet the most fragile.

Whether it is a multitude of loving supporters or just a precious few - even 1 - It’s important to remember that their support is unsolicited, inspired and honest.  It takes a lot of energy to be positive and even more to share those feelings with others.  If it’s not reciprocated, one gets tired and eventually unlikely to continue acting as such.

So the message?  Say “thank you!”  Tell them you appreciate their support.  Stay humble.  They’re most likely the foundation that helped you achieve greatness in the first place.  Without them, it’s equally likely you’ll crumble.

I come from a very supportive family.  I don’t remember a time when I didn’t feel encouraged.  I never had a conversation with my parents where they tried to convince me to do something “just to pay the bills.”  If anything, my upbringing was of the “American Dream” mentality - “GO! DO IT!  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?  MAKE IT HAPPEN!”

And there are a lot of success stories who didn’t have such a strong support network and still turn out just fine.

However, there is something remarkable about the transition from childhood to adulthood - particularly just after graduation from college (which I recommend, by the way - in our time, a bachelor’s degree is the equivalent of a high school diploma - pretty soon you’ll need a doctorate to work at McDonald’s!  “You want fries with that?  How about my dissertation?”)

But I digress. 

You’ve graduated.  You’re firmly an adult and ready to tackle the great, big world.  It’s exciting, it’s filled with limitless potential.  You’re ready to relate to everyone on an adult level.  Everything has changed.

For an artist - or any creative person, for that matter - the down side is that everything has changed in the way the rest of society relates to you.  Your family is still there, supporting, loving, cheering for you, but everyone else wants you to constantly “prove yourself”

You need experience to get the good job - isn’t that what college was for?  To learn how to do the job?

You need references to be considered trustworthy - but family doesn’t count.  Aren’t they the ones who know you best?

You have a “probation period” before certain security/benefits/status takes effect - what is this, “buyer’s remorse?” 

You actually have encounters with people trying to tear you down - judging you, hoping you’ll fail.  And they may not be the kind Mom always said “were just jealous”

And when you return to the source of your training/preparation/guidance in college you find that while they were willing to help you get into debt, they aren’t very good at training/preparing/guiding you back out of it.

I’ve never heard of a business artist program in college.

I’ve never encountered a support network for creatives.

I’ve never seen/heard/received career guidance from an art professor (to anyone - not just me) that lead to a legitimate, sustainable opportunity for employment.

It’s a drop-off you didn’t know was there.  Scary!

Your family still loves/believes/encourages you, but if they aren’t creatives, that’s about all they can do.  The rest of the world is firmly set against your failure.

And this is a depressing reality.  Even other artists from supportive backgrounds will undermine your abilities.  Jealousy, contempt, ego, many base emotions abound - as if there were no potential for any success - as if there’s only a very small piece of the pie left and everything else is saturated. 

From what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of room for a lot of talent in this world.

So what is a creative to do?

The first step is to recognize this transition before you’ve emerged from the cocoon - years before.  Prepare yourself for it mentally, spiritually and physically.  Believe in the power and beauty of your abilities.

The second step is to begin networking NOW.  Don’t be afraid to collect reference letters in grade school if you have to.  Long-standing relationships speak volumes.

Next, grill your professors about everything you want to learn.  If they can’t teach you and you can transfer out to another school that will, DO IT.  Many creatives “can’t but teach” - I’ve run into a LOT of art teachers who can’t even draw!

And while you’re in school, LEARN BUSINESS!  The ability to relate to the non-creatives (who usually have the money, by the way) on their level will generate opportunities galore for you.  You’ll be educating them and making them re-define their terms and stereotypes. 

It’s never to late to start these processes.  Do not accept your current station and think of yourself as “too old” OR “too young” to do anything.  You’ll continue to learn until you die.  Don’t “get busy dying!”

When you’re the exception to the rule “about artists”, then you’ll gain trust, loyalty, employ-ability, and success.

Just like Mom and Dad always thought you would.

One day you’re strolling along through your daily routine, with this image in your head of how you perceive life in general. You do the self-check of the priorities you have in life – job security, food on the table, family status as a whole.

“Most importantly”, you may say to yourself, “I have such a good child! Glad I don’t have to worry about that kid!”

The next moment, you’re face to face with this person who doesn’t match that image in your head. They’re sullen, they’re shiftless, and they’re not even someone you would want to approach on your best day. “What a grouch!” you might say. “What’s with the attitude? What do you have to be so angry about? You’re not even a teenager yet!”

How did this happen? Where did this kid come from? “That’s not my sweet/angelic/perfect/wonderful child!” You think.

It sneaks up on you. And it may not be anything you did or didn’t do. Time conquers all - Including the innocence of youth. It’s all relative, of course. We all have a certain degree of obliviousness to what’s really going on in the world. There’s only so much we can process in the course of a single day – only so much we can absorb in this high speed society of ours.

Children are especially and remarkably resilient. On one hand, they hear EVERYTHING (don’t kid yourself) and what they don’t understand, they process like anyone else. It’s either “filed away” as a memory for access later or forgotten altogether – distracted by a more interesting pastime – ooh look! A butterfly! And we pray most of the time that the latter is the norm.

Then they grow. Then their brains develop further. Then their grasp of more of the English language is stronger (yes, even the naughty stuff!) Then what we thought was their playing quietly while we watched TV. is their LISTENING while they play quietly.

Who we thought was a harmless character in our lives is now a source of terrible habits – or worse, they start to equate the poor choices of an afore-thought “harmless” influence as a model for behavior and choices. YIKES!

So how do you keep from letting your sweet baby become an angst-ridden Oscar the Grouch? Be aware of your surroundings! It’s not just a personal safety tip. It’s not enough to give a child an upbringing of advantages – good food, nice clothes, all the toys and a strong education. It’s the intangibles. It’s the presence and not presents.

When you’re doing the self-check, strolling through your routine, add these to your list. Score 5 points for every “yes” answer. These are in no particular order and relative to your good moral values.

1) Did you spend time with your child today and was it something THEY wanted to do?

2) Did you tell them you loved them and was it from the heart?

3) Did you ask about their day and make sure “fine” wasn’t the only answer?

4) Did you take an interest in their school work?

5) If they had a problem in their day, did you discuss a resolution?

6) Do you really know how well they’re doing in school?

7) Do you know what their friends are like?

Do you know what they’re reading about for fun?

9) Do you know what they’re watching on TV?

10) Do you know what they’re viewing on the internet?

11) Have you been staying away from people with your child that your mother wouldn’t approve of?

12) Have you been in staying away from places with your child that your mother wouldn’t approve of?

13) Have you been refraining from watching TV. or internet or reading material around your child that your mother wouldn’t approve of?

14) Is your child spending time on mind-growing pastimes?

15) Is your child refraining from too many video games? (Even the video game companies put limits in the manuals. Do you read them?)

16) Do you have friends who role model a good lifestyle for your child?

17) Are you a good role model for your child?

18) Are you confident “Cats in the Cradle” isn’t your theme song?

19) Are you confident “Mommy dearest” isn’t your biography?

20) Do you wish you had this check list earlier in life?

So what’s your score? Are you on the honor roll or the dishonor roll?

Advice on post-holiday depression For many of us, the holidays are filled with enjoyment. Even the anticipation of Christmas is a most exciting part of the season. In fact, It’s such a build up, that if one isn’t careful, the opposite effect awaits us soon after. Such is the case for many embarking on the roller coaster ride that is adolescence. From the fragile self esteem, to the raging hormones, to the slipping away of many childhood illusions, the ability to put things in context and in perspective – seeing the “big picture” is an opportunity. Further complicating matters is the parent unaware or uncomfortable with the subject. Broaching a topic when most would prefer to pray for normality again is daunting. Firstly, it is important to determine if the depression is minor or a sign of a clinical condition. If you’re not sure, seek the appropriate medical advice, and help if necessary. If your child is merely dealing with the “blahs”, recognize that this may be an annual affliction and take preventative measures for the future – and future teens (got siblings?): “Keep it simple”: Be wary of materialism. Like the season, the anticipation of “what am I going to get” is high and that which is acquired can quickly fall flat, turning the holiday hollow. If you typically go overboard on gift-giving, you’re also risking spoiling the kids, whose gift lists only include bigger and more expensive items as they grow. It’s a downward spiral for your checkbook. Tell them to pick 1 or 2 “Santa” items and be prepared for nothing more. You’ll teach them to make good choices and prioritize, not greed. Start while they’re young! If they’re not so young, keep the discussion on-going anyway and help them put things in the proper context. “Keep it free”: Fill your calendar with events that savor and express thanks for what you all ready enjoy – good health, loving relationships, friends and family. Make traditions centered on getting together, enjoying the outdoors, and creating memories. Those aren’t seasonal. “Keep the faith”: Remember the reason for the season. Become active in Christmas pageants and concerts in your church. Visit shut-ins. Volunteer in some way that your gifts are used to benefit others. You’ll not only give, but receive the true spirit of the holidays. For a here-and-now “blah”, communication is still key. Being able to help your child to truly put things in perspective with the information above will be a big help, but environmental factors should also be considered. “Keep it light”: S.A.D. “Seasonal Affective Disorder” is a depressive state resultant from low exposure to sunlight – or even seeing the sun. If you live in Alaska, it’s time to move! Also, keep house lighting up – romantic levels are not a good thing here. The same thing applies to your choice of clothes. If you wear bright, light colors, your mood will be affected too. “Keep it real”: The food you eat makes a difference. Beware junk food and sedentary life! Fresh food, including fruits and veggies are important. When your body senses something unnatural in the system, it reacts unnaturally. Hello love handles! Are you depressed yet? Hitting the gym is a great habit too. Find a buddy and go together. Be each others support – even if you don’t do the same things. Ask almost anyone in the 5 a.m. club, and they’ll all tell you they’re not morning people, but once they get there, it’s all easy. “Keep it all year”: Elvis sang, “Why can’t every day be like Christmas?” but it can be so! You have to want it to be though. Focus on the positive, avoid negative things and people, and train your brain to see the good in any situation. You’ll always have something to look forward to and that’s the opposite of depression! Now crank up that Christmas music and party the whole year through!

Perhaps the most disturbing cliché about the arts is the future one could have as a professional. The conclusion has been “none” – absolutely, undeniably, no chance. Parents are often the strongest proponents of this perspective. “If you want to make it in this world, you’ll study business/medicine/law/get-a-job-with-a-drill”

But have you ever considered that the majority of the working world lives in a state of house arrest? We get up, go to work, come home, and go to sleep. Day in, day out for 40 years, then we retire – many even dying shortly after of a lack of stimulation.

To paraphrase Robin Williams in the movie “The Dead Poets Society” regarding the pursuit of the above as a means of financial sustenance: “These are all noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, love, romance! These are the things we stay alive FOR!”

So my challenge to the working world, the parents by extension, and the future generations, is to consider a fulfilling career in what you are passionate about. This may not be the arts, and one would want to avoid “prostituting” one’s hobbies (after all, if you make a living in what you do to relax, what will you do to relax?)

The response may still be a “That’s not possible. How is this accomplished?” And one should consider the sources for the pessimism. Ironically, the primary role models are our teachers. How many enriching courses in the arts are children afforded on a DAILY basis? Who is fostering creativity in the schools? The creative mind – the right side of the brain has remained unchallenged for decades in our educational system.

The teachers, a product of this system, were never encouraged or developed creatively enough and therefore don’t have the tools to perpetuate an imaginative environment. The award-winners are an exception to this, but for what are they being awarded? (See a correlation here?)

Reflect upon your favorite teachers at any grade. Perhaps they never won an award, or were even recognized by the rest of the faculty. However, they made a difference in your life. Not only will you find that they were masters of edu-tainment, but also enabled you to achieve greatness (and not just high grades) – true comprehension, applied knowledge, you were a participant in your development, not “downloaded to.”

The fault is not exclusive to the school system. The cycle of pessimism comes also from our parents, and their parents, and so on back to the first nay-sayer about the arts. Consider how many times you were encouraged by your parents to explore anything creative – singing, dancing, even coloring outside the lines! Furthermore, how many extra lessons or clubs or camps did you attend? Were you even encouraged to practice for the school recital? You have become a product of your home environment.

Lastly, let’s evaluate just how jealous and materialistic our society has become. People are devalued and objectified, speed has replaced quality, and everyone is hungry for attention – positive or negative. We are a society of entitlement without merit. With such an atmosphere, how can a sensitive, expressive spirit survive, let alone thrive?

Therefore, I encourage you to adopt the following recipe for an atmosphere where the arts are a viable career choice. This can work in your own life, as well as the life of your child:

“Passion Potluck”

1) Start with a pound of passion. Fresh inspiration, catered to, all ideas written down. The imagination is a “use it or lose it” part of your brain.

2) Stir in a ½ hour (at least) of “me time.” Pick the place, time, materials and make it a habit. It takes 7 consecutive events to form one. This is a non-negotiable part of your schedule. If you are able to find time to eat, sleep and use the facilities, you can find time to be creative. NO EXCUSES!

3) Use “neg-free” ingredients: Eliminate negativity. “Can’t” is a 4-letter word. 4-letter words cause problems in school.

4) Go organic: Refuse to listen to negativity or criticism. Growth is natural and those who foster it foster genius.

5) Bring to a boil: Surround yourself with positive people who can share visions, give you ideas, teach you and learn from you.

6) Let it simmer: Reflection and day-dreaming are healthy. Let your ideas grow. Be open to change. It could evolve into something even better.

7) Be open to spices: Variety is the spice of life. No great artist shied away from exploring different avenues in the arts. Starving artists starve because they cling to unrealistic principles (“I do this or I do nothing!”). I have made a healthy living doing caricatures, which are snubbed by many “fine artists”. Monet was a caricaturist before an Impressionist and made a nice living too. Re-define your terms!

Never throw it out: Be tenacious! Your dreams are worth fighting for, but no one will fight enough for you – no agent or agency, no teacher or parent. You have to believe in the power and beauty of your goals. Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper for not being creative enough. Where would the world be without him?

I look forward to “having dinner” with you someday!