Do you remember a Christmas where you got THE gift you hoped for?  You begged, pleaded, wrote Santa more than once, prayed every night – it was definitely obvious to everyone.  Then the morning came and there it was!  Joy of joys!

Now do you remember where you left that wondrous gift?  Is it even in your possession anymore? 

How quickly we change.  Even as adults, too many of us look for the bigger, better deal or the new shiny object.  A wise person once said that a free man has nothing.  Somewhere between quality of life and poverty lies the balance.

A career is much like that.  I’m not speaking about how much money you should make, but the vocation that gives you a reason for getting out of bed.  With as short as life is, we should all have one.  But a very precious few are actually “living the dream.”  Or, they work hard to get where they think they should be, only to find it lacks luster relatively quickly – just like the Christmas gift.

Even the deeply-reflective, carefully-planning, “eyes wide open” career holders can wind up in a rut.  I remember many investigations, correspondence, job shadows and soul searching about “what I should be when I grow up.”  Granted, many interesting people still don’t know at 50.  I just happened to decide at 7.  And yet, I still have many experiences that prove to be the “job” part of “living the dream.”

So it’s about shifting your focus, isn’t it?  Remembering why you are where you are and reflecting on the more romantic and even honorable aspects of the job.  Embracing your purpose and posting reminders of it everywhere, if need be.

Just like your diet, you can’t eat junk food all day every day.  You’re going to have to ingest some fiber sometime.  Recognize that any position is going to have “brussel sprouts” – as long as you’re not spending your whole day eating them.

Onward and upward!

I’ve decided that this is the year of listening to my instincts.  

It was decided some time ago.  Even the idea was a long time coming, and perhaps well over due, though the timing seems perfect now.   I anticipate it will be a lengthy process before a good habit is formed.  After all, I’m not only working against my tendency to over-think things, but against societal trends as well. 

Consider – we’re flooded with choices, especially in entertainment.  So much so that we barely have time to think before we need to make another selection.  Our quality of life becomes linked with instant gratification.   Meanwhile we’re developing A.D.D., impatience, and a lack of appreciation for anything that takes the time it needs to take (can you imagine the quality of work if the Mona Lisa was created on today’s deadline-driven schedule?)

And so, I recognize it will be a bit of an uphill battle. I have no expectations of when I’ll be acting more instinctual, but I do expect to get out of my own head eventually.

But why, you may ask, do I have the interest in such things anyway?  On one hand we all have a certain reflex thinking to different scenarios.  You see it in every horror movie:

Naïve girl:  “Oh look!  A scary house!  I should go inside and take a shower!” 

Audience: “No!  Don’t you hear the music?  And the lighting is dark and foreboding!”

On the other hand, how many of us have said “Dang! (or another choice word) I should’ve known better!” in any number of outcomes?

Can’t I be satisfied with the 50/50 chance?  Why not accept a healthy average and not focus on it so much?  A lot of people are happy with “contentment.”

But this pursuit is encouraged and even stereotyped in a number of professions.  In journalism, it’s a “nose” for the story.  In crime prevention, it’s a “gut” for the right direction.   Leaders and captains of industry have a “sense” about certain directions – despite what the statistics say.  Sometimes the risk pays off in a huge and illogical way.

And how many of us respect those that make a bold decision – even if they fail – because we admire their courage of conviction, faith, or just a lack of fear?

Isn’t that what it all comes down to – fear?   Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of judgment, fear of the outcome.

When did we develop these fears?  Why do they have such commitment from us?

Even if fear is taken out of the equation – if for no other reason, I seek to “raise my own bar” and to continue to grow as a professional, I can’t just settle for the status quo.  I think it’s a part of continuing to live the dream.  There’s a price to pay even once you’ve arrived.

An artist can have a “feeling” about a project.  Perhaps it’s the color used in a work.  Maybe it’s the brush stroke or even a different application of paint altogether.  Maybe the scope of the project is one that needs to evolve.  It’s possible the idea itself needs to “percolate” a little more before its time has come.

In business relationships, some people strike you as “odd” for a reason.  Others strike you as having enormous potential.  You get a feeling you’d like to keep in touch with some connections and others you hope lose your contact info.

In the coming weeks, I hope to provide not only updates on this process but also specific examples to further prove the point.  As I work to defeat my own worst enemy and everything he represents, I look forward to updating you on the results.  I also hope you find encouragement to do the same.

On the viability of an idea, a wise man once told me: “I take every good idea and blow holes in it.”  It sounded pretty insane to me at the time.  Everyone has a bit of self-consciousness, even an inferiority complex to a certain degree.  Why develop that?

Negativity is never in short-supply.  You don’t need to encourage anyone to criticize you – most will even do it for free.  I have never met any successful people in any walk of life who didn’t meet with a great deal of adversity in some form.

But then I looked at his method from a self-preservation perspective.  He would pretend to completely hate what he created, and what was left was what was worth developing.  He wasn’t being his own worst enemy, he was being prepared.  By refining the idea, he was ready with the right answer to any potential glitch.  If chance favors the prepared, then it should be impressed as well.

So despite my creative nature, I will develop my business sense to include a dispassionate counsel.  A refined idea meeting a practical application beats blind ambition meeting a bird cage floor.

Call me a rebel, but when it comes to gifts, I believe it really is “the thought that counts.” With the struggling economy, perhaps we should all focus a little less on materials and more on making memories.

Some of the greatest memories I have of the holidays had little-to-nothing to do with purchasing. I cherished the classic Christmas music playing throughout the house, helping my mom decorate (she was so particular about the way the tinsel lay on the tree!) and especially helping make cookies!

When it comes to making a similar impact on your children, there are several timeless directions to consider:

1) Snow-flake-a-rama! How easy and low-mess to create paper snow flakes. Use colored construction paper for a fun twist that can fit with your décor.  Fold, snip and discover. It nurtures a child’s curiosity, creativity and provides quick results. Fill up the house for a few bucks in paper and a pair of scissors.

2) DOUGH! Even if you’re not a fan of baking, grab a few tubes of pre-made cookie dough and see what happens. You don’t have to use cookie cutters – older children and a butter knife can make for some fun results. Younger chefs can even sculpt an original. Whether you cook up the products or just video tape the experience, you’ll be amazed at what your child thinks up. Don’t forget the colored sprinkles!

3) Time capsule: You may think you take enough photos/video/scrapbook material but how many do you actually save or print? Record your child’s thoughts about the holidays, even record them or just their voice in a mock interview. While you may find it commonplace now, that innocent perspective will be priceless to you and them in years to come. Make it an annual tradition and let it grow to include eventual spouses and grandchildren.

4) Remember where you came from: For your parents or even grandparents, compose a list of what you valued most about the holidays with them. They’ll be surprised at some of the things that made an impact. Use parchment paper, write in calligraphy, put a hand print on it – whatever makes it special and “frame-worthy.” At their age, they’ll appreciate it much more than “just something else to dust.”

Creatives often fail to succeed.  It can be a result of poor endurance, lack of tenacity, terrible business savvy, a fear of failure or even a fear of success.  But there is an ironic fault as well that I don’t think many consider – especially while enjoying a measure of it, even on their terms.

Self-esteem and the complaint.

While it is similar to the fear of failure being realized, it can actually be the creative being their own worst enemy.  It is the perfectionist nature conflicting with, magnifying, and never healing from a criticism.

I don’t know a quality artist who doesn’t continue to worry – even obsess – about their craft.  It is said that once you stop worrying, you’re no longer good.  However thick-skinned a person must be to courageously express their form to a judgemental public, a creative must still maintain a sensitivity to produce good art.  Otherwise, their heart also becomes hardened and then inspiration dies.

But in the business of creating, what do you do when you strive to do your best, even achieve an unsurpassed level of quality, and still have an issue to address?

Whether it’s a percentage of your audience or just one person, a complaint can be crippling.  Still, there are several things to keep in mind to achieve a clear conscience and a renewed spirit. 

1) Mean people exist.  They may be having a bad day, bad year, bad life and you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  An issue probably doesn’t exist at all.  Also, this is a category where someone always has it worse than you.  If you doubt that adage, ask anyone in in customer service, retail or restaurants. 

2) Buyer’s remorse.  If you offer a premium service and a premium price is ascribed, be prepared for someone to find fault with it.   They’ll have standards established in their mind that no one can meet.  This can also hold true for discounted services.  While “you get what you pay for”, you often encounter “you get what you sell for” – lower price can meet lower class.

3) The green-eyed monster.   Sometimes, the fault-finding is out of sheer jealousy for their own failed attempts at your career path.  Their issues are not your issues.  Mentally deflect that energy.

4) Confusion.  Perhaps you were mis-represented to them.  It may be that a misunderstanding exists or just a semantic barrier.  I’ve yet to over-clarify or over-confirm details on any event.   Most often, clear & concise communication brings other opportunities to the table.

Above all, recognize that what makes you a great artist also makes you vulnerable.  Manage a balance between talent and your nature and you’ll persevere.

And on the odd chance that you have made a mistake, make amends quickly.  Don’t shy away from addressing complaints, thoroughly and seeking satisfaction.  That’s a sign of integrity and regardless of service, is respectable.  You may also learn something about the way you’re perceived and how you do business.  You can’t improve if you don’t know what you need improvement in!

Now forgive yourself and move on.  You can’t walk on water anyway, can you?