Life is like an amusement park.  Imagine you were given a free trip to (insert your choice here) with the condition that you have to experience EVERYTHING.   When I say “experience”, I don’t mean that great wisdom must be acquired, merely that you participate.

Consider the variety of experiences present in an amusement park.  Not only does the park have kiddy rides, roller coasters and fun houses, but there are also bathrooms, concession stands and maybe even varying weather to deal with.  

Essentially you’re stuck there until you give each attraction, vendor and facility the proper attention.  In the real world, some patrons choose to be at the front gate when the park opens and stay until they’re kicked out.  Others play “speed park” and wisk through everything, skipping things they’ve “been there/done that” before.

But in our scenario, you HAVE to go through all of it – that’s the price of admission.

With these conditions, it’s a certainty that you’ll hate some rides entirely and only part of others.  Some you may enjoy thoroughly – even going on them over and over, waiting in line if you have to for hours.

Now consider how this translates to life.  Not every day will be perfect.  Not every day will be a total nightmare.  Some regular demands on your time will be constant – you’ll have to sleep sometime, eat sometime, etc.  You may have cherished or life-changing experiences, or have a stretch of uneventful time. 

But you can’t “get out of the park” until you’ve done it all.

SO - examine your patterns and directions.  Are you “spending too much time in line?”  Perhaps “repeating the wrong ride?”  Have you even “gotten out of the bathroom yet?”

Hurry up!  There’s a great parade and fireworks show in 15 minutes! 

I think everyone has that “voice in their head” that has grown from experiences, role models and environment.  Some call it the 6th sense, others call it a conscience.  Reporters call it their “nose” and detectives call it a “hunch.”  Manly men call it their “gut” and womanly women call it “intuition.” More often than not it’s pretty good advice and worth at least listening to, but how many of us ignore the red flags anyway?

A classic example of such folly is a horror movie.  The quintessential hiker lost in the woods finds a creepy house and, despite the music playing, goes inside and takes a shower (WHY?  Can’t they hear the music?) 

I don’t remember a lot of help developing my instincts.  They didn’t even have a class in college for it.   But many agree the first response is the correct one.  I would even challenge you to keep track of decisions based on listening or ignoring them – and see what the success rate of each direction is.

Consider instincts to be the voice of experience.  The older one gets, the more they experience.  Patterns become obvious.   Pop culture is notorious for this.  Pick your favorite fad or movie and go back 10 years to see what was popular then.  You will be shocked at the similarity.

I look forward to your response and comments are welcome.  Although I have a “feeling” you’ll be more focused on your own development and too busy to post.

Dreaming is a natural part of life.  If you don’t dream when you sleep, you’re dead (literally!) so why not stay “extra healthy” and do it when you’re awake?  Dreamers are good to have around too.  Their energy and enthusiasm is contagious and makes for a positive environment.  In the big picture, there are no real limitations to making certain dreams a reality.  The only “elephant in the room” is the almighty dollar.

In a retail job I held in a former life, I was often told “sales fixes everything” and for most of us, money is the only obstacle to our goals being realized.  It can be formidable and undeniable to be sure, but chance also favors the prepared.  If an attitude of “why not” is adopted, then a plan of action follows.  When the last peg falls into place, it will be met with great momentum. 

I caution you not to be impatient.  Our speed-obsessed, instant-gratification society may scoff at this sentiment, but good things take time.  In my experience, (with hindsight being 20/20) a good result takes the time it needs to take.   All too often I’ve seen that patience was prudence and even if my “final peg” came early, the lack of plan or execution of a plan would have made for disaster.  In the meantime, evolution, refinement and the cultivation of new ideas can occur.  

So take some regular time to raise your own bar and see what happens.  I think you’ll find a new measure of success – and that it suits you!

Negativity is never in short-supply.  You don’t need to encourage anyone to criticize you – most will even do it for free.  I have never met any successful people in any walk of life who didn’t meet with a great deal of adversity in some form.

But then I looked at his method from a self-preservation perspective.  He would pretend to completely hate what he created, and what was left was what was worth developing.  He wasn’t being his own worst enemy, he was being prepared.  By refining the idea, he was ready with the right answer to any potential glitch.  If chance favors the prepared, then it should be impressed as well.

So despite my creative nature, I will develop my business sense to include a dispassionate counsel.  A refined idea meeting a practical application beats blind ambition meeting a bird cage floor.

I received such inspiration throughout my childhood.  My parents introduced me to family and friends who could be such positive influences.  While neither was an artist per se, they found the right direction to keep me encouraged.  In the spirit of paying it forward, many of my posts to this blog should serve as advice and direction to other parents seeking the way.

But still there are folks who just don’t get it.  Sadder still are those who think they do and are horribly misinformed.  Encounters with those people are painful.

Case in point – I recently taught a class in abstract expressionism, focusing on Jackson Pollock.  If you know anything about him and his work, you know to explore the medium requires paint clothes.  I planned a version using large sheets of paper and crayons.  

The experience was still filled with energy, music, and little dancing artists.  The lines were expressive, uninhibited and everyone had a great time.   Even more encouraging was that they all understood the idea!

Then the parents showed up. 

“I paid $(class fee) for scribbles on paper?”

“What is this?”

Or the neutral “That’s nice.  No, you can’t put that up anywhere.”

The children’s faces were like a needle scratching across a record.  In one fell swoop the entire lesson and its inspiring message were destroyed.  Now the children were a product of their parents and some even looked at their artwork with disdain.

From a customer service perspective I wanted everyone to be happy.  That was impossible.  Regardless of the scant (and not profitable – we don’t see kids as dollar signs) fee they paid, they expected greatness.

From an educators perspective, I wanted to enlighten.  Their minds were closed and locked.  Regardless of the preceding hour and the creative ride they experienced, they were now “leaving the park.”

From a parent’s perspective, I wanted to nurture (or maybe re-nurture in this case.)  With what time?  A bad teacher can impact a student negatively for up to 4 years.  How much more can a bad parent?

It begs the question, what does such a person expect?  What do they understand?  Do you judge the penmanship of your child’s math homework as well or just check for the right answer?  It is the experience and the education – NOT the perceived value of the result. 

In short, judgements need not apply here.  Your child is not going to create master-level work in 45 minutes!

But in the face of such ignorance, I carried on.  I exercised “verbal judo” and responded confidently – and without interest in their opinions or asking for further feedback.  I stood in my role to enrich the child’s life with the class and I was successful.  I would not be a control freak beyond the experience.

I share this painful experience because I’m sure many of you have had a similar experience.  The spirit of creation takes a black eye and you can hardly believe what you’re hearing.  In the fragile ecosystem of art it’s enough to make many admit defeat.

But I also offer encouragement to you.  Great and successful people in all walks of life have similar encounters.  What makes them great and successful is the will to continue.  Know that you are in a minority and that in itself if rare and special. 

Maintain your tenacity and this too will be relegated to a memory with influence but not to incapacitate – to motivate.

So this comes a little pre-emptive but for a good reason.  Patterns of behavior, like the seasons, can be predictable.  When you can recognize them, you can also put into context and deal with the feelings they bring.  For this post, I’m speaking of “cabin fever” – it’s a similar beast to seasonal depression, and one you can overcome!

For starters, let’s simplify the concept.  I doubt any of you are actually trapped in a cabin for weeks on end with nothing to do.  How many of you actually even live in the woods?

And even if you are cubicle-confined, with the pace of business these days are you really short of something to do?

So it really is a matter of undermining the tradition, cycle or habit that you may be perpetuating for no good reason.  Sometimes a bad pattern or habit can be supplanted with a good one.  Here are some examples that advocate listening to your instincts, body, or a sensitivity to the environment:

1) Are you bored?  Maybe your tasks are out of order.  Arrange them so that you always have something to look forward to.  Follow monotony with a challenge, and drudgery with reward.

2) Are you distracted?  It might be time for a coffee break.  Focus can wane simply from low blood sugar, dehydration, or inactivity. 

3) Are you depressed?  Brighten up!  If the sun is shining, let it in!  If your wardrobe is dull, inject some color.  If it’s too quiet, play some good background music. 

4) Are you “running in circles?”  Change the venue.  A definition of insanity is to do the same thing and expect different results.  You may not be the personality type who works best in your current configuration.  Or it could simply be a matter of looking at things from a new perspective.

5) Are you “hitting the wall?”  I find that fatigue doesn’t come with a warning.  It just shows up.  You need to maintain a healthy balance of sleep, nutrition, hydration and FUN.  You can’t work hard and not rest hard.  A balanced person is a productive person.

6) Are you just uninspired?  Don’t be afraid to think-out-loud to a confidant.  In fact, establish a different sounding board for various issues.  I have several people who I can count on for a specific perspective.  If you find it all in one person, consider yourself lucky!

The symptoms and prescriptions may also be interchangeable, but the pattern of behavior should be the same.  Begin the habit of addressing and overcoming the source of your symptoms.  Don’t just accept them.

But if the opposite exists, does this mean that you can’t follow your own agenda for the meeting?

In addressing just business interactions here, it’s still a tricky social game and there are many rules of engagement.  You want to show respect without allowing for too many tangents.  You don’t want to be the Everyman but you do hope to grow more opportunities.  You need to demonstrate your character without overdoing it.

In my experience, developing a sense for people can be seen as a talent or a skill, but one that requires honing nonetheless.  I’ve never met a good salesperson who didn’t start out rough, awkward and green.  Everyone has to pay their dues, but is there an economy plan?

Indeed there are some shortcuts.

1) Understand their needs.  They’ve obviously agreed to discuss a particular interest with you.  Respect the interest for what it is and don’t try and overwhelm them with options.  I’ve seen too many a salesperson derail their own opportunity by diverting the interest (and thereby, the sale)

2) Be prepared.  Pretend they know nothing and have more questions than you’ve ever fielded.  If you’re informed, you’ll impress.

3) Give-and-take.  Ask a question about their goals when they have a question about implementing your service or product.  You may find that there are other applications they don’t know about – or that a different option is in their best interests.

4)  Be them.  Pretend that the roles are reversed.  It’s the Golden Rule in sales.  Perception is a powerful thing and you want to convince them you’re genuine.  The best way?  Be genuine! 

With every interaction, as with every game, there is a winner and a loser.  While losing may be their losing their budget to your options, it can also be your options not being what they need.  As long as you maintain your character and integrity, there will be more opportunities to replace those that failed to blossom.

From just these 3 examples, I apply an awareness of the season as it approaches.  It is such a beautiful time of year and one that elicits powerful emotions and passionate beliefs.  Unfortunately, it can also be quickly corrupted by commercialism, ignorance, and ego.

Regardless of your convictions, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we acted deliberately, reflectively, and respectfully as we savored the holidays?  I witness many who celebrate a tradition of setting aside petty differences, show a little more courtesy, and spread good will.  How powerful if that tradition extended beyond a 2 month period!

While I’m sure I’m not the first to extol this perspective, I can hope that my voice will be added to the collective, and have a ripple effect. 

You too can be a part of such a movement, and I hope that this holiday season brings you and yours peace and joy.

Self-esteem and the complaint.

While it is similar to the fear of failure being realized, it can actually be the creative being their own worst enemy.  It is the perfectionist nature conflicting with, magnifying, and never healing from a criticism.

I don’t know a quality artist who doesn’t continue to worry – even obsess – about their craft.  It is said that once you stop worrying, you’re no longer good.  However thick-skinned a person must be to courageously express their form to a judgemental public, a creative must still maintain a sensitivity to produce good art.  Otherwise, their heart also becomes hardened and then inspiration dies.

But in the business of creating, what do you do when you strive to do your best, even achieve an unsurpassed level of quality, and still have an issue to address?

Whether it’s a percentage of your audience or just one person, a complaint can be crippling.  Still, there are several things to keep in mind to achieve a clear conscience and a renewed spirit. 

1) Mean people exist.  They may be having a bad day, bad year, bad life and you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  An issue probably doesn’t exist at all.  Also, this is a category where someone always has it worse than you.  If you doubt that adage, ask anyone in in customer service, retail or restaurants. 

2) Buyer’s remorse.  If you offer a premium service and a premium price is ascribed, be prepared for someone to find fault with it.   They’ll have standards established in their mind that no one can meet.  This can also hold true for discounted services.  While “you get what you pay for”, you often encounter “you get what you sell for” – lower price can meet lower class.

3) The green-eyed monster.   Sometimes, the fault-finding is out of sheer jealousy for their own failed attempts at your career path.  Their issues are not your issues.  Mentally deflect that energy.

4) Confusion.  Perhaps you were mis-represented to them.  It may be that a misunderstanding exists or just a semantic barrier.  I’ve yet to over-clarify or over-confirm details on any event.   Most often, clear & concise communication brings other opportunities to the table.

Above all, recognize that what makes you a great artist also makes you vulnerable.  Manage a balance between talent and your nature and you’ll persevere.

And on the odd chance that you have made a mistake, make amends quickly.  Don’t shy away from addressing complaints, thoroughly and seeking satisfaction.  That’s a sign of integrity and regardless of service, is respectable.  You may also learn something about the way you’re perceived and how you do business.  You can’t improve if you don’t know what you need improvement in!

Now forgive yourself and move on.  You can’t walk on water anyway, can you?