I’m living the dream.

I may not be living your dream, or even your idea of what my dream should be, but I am enjoying success.

It’s an eerie feeling in a way - almost as if this is the end of it all, I should be awarded a medal or somehow credits should be scrolling in front of my face. 

On the other hand, not a lot of people ever get to this point.  It’s worth savoring for a while.  And the fact that I’ve achieved it at so young an age, (again a relative point) is even more exciting and disconcerting at the same time.

The dichotomy is a bi-product of a clear focus I’ve had since I was in 2nd grade.  I’ve always known that I wanted to be a professional artist.  I still remember the internal dialogue and had it all figured out by lunch time.

Yes.  very rare.  Freakish even, no?

Of course I’ve run into nay-sayers, negativity, backlash - all the things that can either galvanize your resolve or derail you completely.  I don’t know anyone I could define as “great” in any category of life who hasn’t had such adversity.

So, at the continued risk of sounding cocky, what do I do now?

I spend a lot of time reflecting on the choices, decisions, paths I’ve taken, and the directions I’ve influenced or led others to take.  The conclusion I’ve come to is that it’s important to keep raising your own bar.

I don’t know anyone who will continually challenge or expect more of me.  I’ve got to be ready to shoot for the next step.  Even if I’m living the dream, maybe it’s time for a new one.

People I find interesting are always doing this.  It’s not the same as job-jumping or being one of those annoying free-spirited people with no responsibilities or (even worse) someone who never has to worry about money.  It’s a paradox of satisfaction and hunger.

So it may take a change in attitude, outlook, location or even circle of friends, but what do you expect?  And even more important, what happens WHEN you achieve it?

I love Halloween!  As an artist, I find it inspiring.  My mind fills with ideas for décor, atmosphere, and the ever-exciting “what will I be this year?”

Of course I’m allowed to enjoy it as an adult – it makes for great role modeling for my children.  They too become infected with my zest for the holiday and all the imagination-building fun. 

So in the spirit of creativity, I have the following design-on-a-dime costume ideas for kids-of-all-ages:

1)      Skip the mask:  Masks are fun but can also be expensive, hot and hazardous.  Anyone who remembers the plastic “blinders” with the single rubber band will agree.  If you couldn’t see or breathe very well, at least you could look forward to the rubber band breaking and snapping you in the eye.  Parents, try makeup instead.  A little rouge and you have instant clown.  Some well placed mascara and voila – instant diva (or princess) (Tip: Avoid grease paint unless you like scrubbing tired cranky dirty children for hours.)

2)      Oh the many joys of garbage bags:  plastic is a great insulator and trash bags come in more than one color.  They can also fit over just about any layered undercoating.  Uses:  Togas, robes, even capes if trimmed carefully.

3)      Go cerebral:  A good costume isn’t always obvious.  Sometimes it’s more fun to have a conversation piece.  Ask the kids to make up an obscure super-hero like Captain Happy – dress them all in yellow and let them canvas the neighborhood laughing.  Or put a small chair on their head and go as “gum” (get it?)

4)      Size can be everything:  Fit more than 1 kid in an oversized sweatsuit and you’ve got 2-headed monster!  Dad’s clothes and a little extra stuffing and you have “mini-me” or your home-made “Hulk.” Try the opposite effect with undersized clothing and be “The Incredible-growing-child” (a little faux 5 o’clock shadow will enhance the effect.)

5)      Wrap n’ roll:  T.p. your child and instant-mummify.  Some well-adhered holiday paper and you have “The Walking Gift.”  Save the empty rolls for horns, fake noses, spikes, anything you can imagine.

When it’s all over, you’ve spent some quality bonding time in the pursuit of free sugar.  You could even say you’re making a political statement (“old-fashioned”, “timeless”, “economical”, “just like I wore when I was his/her age”) You may even be surprised by some of the ideas your child can come up with. 

Enjoy it while you take your inspector’s cut of the candy.

The price-gougers, the cost-cutters, the bargain-basement operators.  Sounds pretty good to the average shopper doesn’t it?

But have you ever purchased something that didn’t live up to the bargain?  That cheap pair of shoes that you had to replace 3 more times in a year, the bulk jar of ketchup that you used just as fast as the regular size, the generic brand electronic device that (”oh by the way”) doesn’t have all the features as the real deal.

The same holds true with services.  Of course everyone has budgets and as service providers we want to be sensitive to those budgets.  Unlike Congress, when there’s no money for something - there really ISN’T a way to pay for it.  And when you’re hanging out your shingle, you don’t want to out-price everyone.  The market can only bear so much.

But the other side of the coin is some things just cost what they cost.  I’ve never known the price of gold to be up for a haggle.  It may rise or fall, but does that have to do with one person’s decision (conspiracy theorists need not comment here!)

So when you’ve achieved the highest degree, the most experience and can do things the best, you’re worth your investment.  Are you a ”Nike” or a “K Swiss”?  Are you a “Coke” or a “Faygo”?  Are you a “Rolls Royce” or a “Chevy”?  All are good brands and I’d take any of them if they were offered.  They simply cost what they cost. 

The hardest thing you may ever have to do is take pride in your skills and abilities and even tell a potential (or current) client “I don’t need your business” - or even fire them! 

If you’re doing your best and “you’re worth what you’re worth”, you’re dealing with business that will never respect you anyway and (even if they go with a cheap competitor) it reflects on their ethics - they’ll get what they pay for:  Low quality, suspicious business practices (maybe even illegal) and ultimately you dont’ want to be associated with any of that!  Trust me, they’ll be replaced with the kind of clients you want (and most likely will not only be able to afford you, but never think twice about doing it right.)

Ultimately, the things that shouldn’t be open for negotiation are your character and integrity.

I’m writing this one from a creative’s perspective, but it could apply to anyone who works hard and believes in the work that they do.

When you’re “living the dream”, whatever that dream may be, it’s very easy to trade off the important things in your life (health, personal growth, fitness, loved ones, etc.) as a price.  The saddest part is that you don’t have to.  It’s all about balance and maintaining a sense of mortality.

When we’re young, we’re unconscious. We’re limited only by our imagination.  Reckless abandon and an invulnerable sense blind us to the big picture.  It’s why we equate age with wisdom.  Slowing down causes us to reflect more (have you ever seen a memoir by a 20-year old?)

The trouble is that the momentum of youth can often carry over into the rest of our life - and along with it high blood pressure, anxiety, heart disease, and all other sorts of nasty.

Ironically, the good habits and achieving balance also follow the same advice and direction of an efficiency expert.  If you work hard but also play hard (or rest hard) then you’re going to be sharper, stronger, healthier, more productive AND have all the other priorities in your life maintained (loved ones, your faith, smelling the roses, etc.)

In the grand scheme of things, you’re just a blip on the timeline.  Recognize that life was here before you and will carry on (”some how”) without you.  Savor your time and make it last because you’ll be judged by how you lived (and eternity is a loooooong time)

To be an artist means that you’ve probably received one of the following:

1) A galvanization of adversity and are too stubborn to quit (like many many many success stories, by the way) 

2) A strong network of friends and family who have always said “you can do it!” and helped you believe just that.

3) A combination of both (like yours truly)

I wish to speak to “#2″ because it is perhaps the most powerful and yet the most fragile.

Whether it is a multitude of loving supporters or just a precious few - even 1 - It’s important to remember that their support is unsolicited, inspired and honest.  It takes a lot of energy to be positive and even more to share those feelings with others.  If it’s not reciprocated, one gets tired and eventually unlikely to continue acting as such.

So the message?  Say “thank you!”  Tell them you appreciate their support.  Stay humble.  They’re most likely the foundation that helped you achieve greatness in the first place.  Without them, it’s equally likely you’ll crumble.

I’m often asked by parents about the themes they find in their child’s artwork.

“Joey is drawing monsters all the time!’ ‘Spencer is obsessed with warriors!’ ‘Jacob keeps drawing spiders and skulls!’ Is this normal?”

Ironically, I never hear a girl’s art is too “girly” or even a problem with a boy drawing horses and butterflies. It’s only the violent themes that raise an eyebrow. In the wake of all the school violence that’s making headlines, who can blame?

Like most things, it’s all about balance.

As a child, I loved monsters. I would check out every book or comic book on them. I’d pick the classics like Dracula and Frankenstein, to aliens and dragons. My mom thought I would join a cult someday.

But I just thought they were cool. In fact, most every boy in my class thought they were cool. Even more, the entire school’s boy population was drawing monsters, superheroes or race cars. Those were the “big 3”.

Of the girls, the top choices were flowers, horses (or unicorns) or practicing their handwriting. Sure, they’d throw in a few hearts and swirly lines, but that was mostly it.

It’s the same thing today. I give hundreds of kids drawing lessons every year. Boys are attracted to power and girls are attracted to passive. Most of the boys love warriors & weapons and blood & guts. If it’s not exploding or doesn’t have a sword sticking out of it, they’ll pass. Most of the girls love nature in any form – animals above or below water, surrounded by trees and flowers – “passive city.”

Sometimes the opposite is true. In fact, I like to encourage an eclectic subject experience. There are two things to consider before you call a therapist in either extreme.

First, take an interest in your child’s artwork. Ask them about it. Talk about what they think is “cool” and WHY. Make sure it’s in the right context. It could be an opportunity to discuss subjects further – such as who their role models are and what they’re watching on TV. On the other hand it could just be the trendy thing to draw. While I loved monsters, I also had long phases of drawing cartoon characters, superheroes, and people’s faces. A well-rounded child will go through phases too.

The other important question is “how MUCH of these themes are they drawing?” If a child constantly draws nothing but violent images, uses a lot of intense colors like oranges or reds, or has heavy black line work in their drawings, you may have something to discuss further.

The more you know, the less you’ll worry. Also, don’t knock taking a drawing class yourself, mom or dad. In fact, take a class WITH your child. It will be a whole new way to bond with them and nurture your own inner child. The more you can relate, the more you can share.

Fewer kids join cults that way.