My parents were always supportive.  I don’t remember a time when they discouraged my dreams or suggested I develop a “fall back.”  Consequently, I’m living the dream of a professional artist.

They were also very good about giving me a variety of experiences.  I had the swimming lessons, little league, piano lessons, cub scouts, etc.

My eclectic upbringing continued to incorporate a strong faith, a love for family, and a value of things intangible - they didn’t raise a boy with expensive tastes.

And as I reached college, I remember thinking that with all the interests they had fostered, I would only be able to dedicate true development to one of them.  Such was the way my perfectionist mind worked (and still does to a degree - if you’re a creative, you get this.)

So at the crossroads my confidence wavered a bit.  I had always known that I wanted to be a professional artist and now I was HERE.  Where you learn how to be what you want to be “when you grow up”*

(*The ironic thing here is the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25 - about 3 years after most kids graduate.  One of the last things to finish “cooking?” Commitment!)

So now what?  I stayed the course - with no regrets.  I still keep the other interests alive.  But ultimately what feeds my soul is the idea that I’ll leave this world a better place than I found it.  Passing the cosmic tests, influencing the young and giving peace to the aged.

But all idealism aside, I find myself at those cross roads again from time to time.  Sometimes it’s a peaceful time for reflection, sometimes is a dark night of the soul.

But a life without examination isn’t worth leading, right?  We might as well be a cow in a field blissfully ignorant of its fate.

I write this in hopes that it will challenge you to reflect as well.  And that the happy problem will be a choice of fantastic direction A and fantastic direction B.

But in all things, reflect, pray, and savor the decision. 

I don’t know of a company or corporation that doesn’t have a dress code.  In fact, some positions are known by their dress code or uniform.  It’s part of the branding process.  It isn’t even a business perspective - have you ever seen a man dressed all in black with a white collar and NOT known what he was? (for the atheists, the answer would be “a priest”)

Another advantage of uniforms are that they hold the mystique to others as well as certain behavioral parameters.  Police officers come to mind - there are strict codes for what actions and behaviors are allowed, tolerated or even encouraged depending on whether or not the officer is “on duty”

But there is another side to being in uniform.  And my message today really only applies to those who are true “company” - they may or may not own the business, but they’ve bought into it - all the way. 

And I’m not really addressing workaholics here (besides, that’s a pretty silly term anyway - is there even such a thing as “workahol”?  I think Webster’s needs to get involved with that one.)  What I am talking about are those people who have strong work ethics and morals.  They have a sense of balance and they aren’t afraid to put full value forth to benefit their employer.

Have you ever found it difficult to relax after work?  Do you find yourself gravitating towards business-related tasks as a bad habit of sorts - or as if you’re running on automatic pilot?  Did you notice that you haven’t changed your clothes yet?

This is a psychological condition that affects many who have established a certain momentum in their schedule.  The uniform, the brand, the persona, etc. is also a state of mind that becomes you.  At the risk of being corny, your “work mode” is in many ways a different person altogether.

The solution is to change your clothes - in fact, have certain garb options that fit ONLY into “relaxing clothes”  This habit holds true at the beginning of your day.  If you’re not ready to start work, don’t start dressing the part too soon.  The switch comes on once that last lace or button is done.

The necktie in particular has often been called the “corporate noose” (ever notice the similarities?)  Sometimes that is all it takes to restrict the blood flow and turn off any relaxing thoughts you may ever have for the rest of your shift.

So take a moment to reflect upon your state of mind, your environment, and make the mental note to arrest your unconscious habits.  Once you’ve made the change (literally) you’ll find that you truly have “clocked out for the day.”

The price-gougers, the cost-cutters, the bargain-basement operators.  Sounds pretty good to the average shopper doesn’t it?

But have you ever purchased something that didn’t live up to the bargain?  That cheap pair of shoes that you had to replace 3 more times in a year, the bulk jar of ketchup that you used just as fast as the regular size, the generic brand electronic device that (”oh by the way”) doesn’t have all the features as the real deal.

The same holds true with services.  Of course everyone has budgets and as service providers we want to be sensitive to those budgets.  Unlike Congress, when there’s no money for something - there really ISN’T a way to pay for it.  And when you’re hanging out your shingle, you don’t want to out-price everyone.  The market can only bear so much.

But the other side of the coin is some things just cost what they cost.  I’ve never known the price of gold to be up for a haggle.  It may rise or fall, but does that have to do with one person’s decision (conspiracy theorists need not comment here!)

So when you’ve achieved the highest degree, the most experience and can do things the best, you’re worth your investment.  Are you a ”Nike” or a “K Swiss”?  Are you a “Coke” or a “Faygo”?  Are you a “Rolls Royce” or a “Chevy”?  All are good brands and I’d take any of them if they were offered.  They simply cost what they cost. 

The hardest thing you may ever have to do is take pride in your skills and abilities and even tell a potential (or current) client “I don’t need your business” - or even fire them! 

If you’re doing your best and “you’re worth what you’re worth”, you’re dealing with business that will never respect you anyway and (even if they go with a cheap competitor) it reflects on their ethics - they’ll get what they pay for:  Low quality, suspicious business practices (maybe even illegal) and ultimately you dont’ want to be associated with any of that!  Trust me, they’ll be replaced with the kind of clients you want (and most likely will not only be able to afford you, but never think twice about doing it right.)

Ultimately, the things that shouldn’t be open for negotiation are your character and integrity.

I’m writing this one from a creative’s perspective, but it could apply to anyone who works hard and believes in the work that they do.

When you’re “living the dream”, whatever that dream may be, it’s very easy to trade off the important things in your life (health, personal growth, fitness, loved ones, etc.) as a price.  The saddest part is that you don’t have to.  It’s all about balance and maintaining a sense of mortality.

When we’re young, we’re unconscious. We’re limited only by our imagination.  Reckless abandon and an invulnerable sense blind us to the big picture.  It’s why we equate age with wisdom.  Slowing down causes us to reflect more (have you ever seen a memoir by a 20-year old?)

The trouble is that the momentum of youth can often carry over into the rest of our life - and along with it high blood pressure, anxiety, heart disease, and all other sorts of nasty.

Ironically, the good habits and achieving balance also follow the same advice and direction of an efficiency expert.  If you work hard but also play hard (or rest hard) then you’re going to be sharper, stronger, healthier, more productive AND have all the other priorities in your life maintained (loved ones, your faith, smelling the roses, etc.)

In the grand scheme of things, you’re just a blip on the timeline.  Recognize that life was here before you and will carry on (”some how”) without you.  Savor your time and make it last because you’ll be judged by how you lived (and eternity is a loooooong time)

Like many artists, I’m very sensitive to my environment.  Who I interact with, how the weather is, what’s playing on the radio and so on, are things that affect many of us creatives and non.  To recognize these influences and make a mental choice about how to deal with them helps keep focus, channel inspiration, and even turn a frown upside down.

But then there are rainy days, maybe even flooding your basement, compiled with a car overheating, coupled with a fight with the Mrs., exacerbated by the devaluing of society, adding insult to injury by the dismissive nature of non-creatives (or whatever combination piles up on you sometimes) and you’ll think “THAT’S IT!”

“What’s the point?  I’m taking my ball and bat and going home!  I give up, I’m going to find a mindless job, and work until I die!”

It’s easy to lose perspective.  It’s important to stop and count your blessings.  For example, the poorest person in America is still richer than most of the rest of the world. 

But success is a relative concept, isn’t it?  With a progressive society, comes progressively “raising the bar” - whether it’s done for us or we even do it for ourselves.

So what to do when you’re “full?” You “don’t want to play anymore?”

Hope and faith are a big key to overcoming adversity.  Our character is shown by how we handle pressure.  Leaders panic, but don’t necessarily show it.  Victors still fear, but know that success is worth the struggle.

And it’s important to have a good support network around you - Mom, friends, spouse, kids, whomever you can rely on to say “everything’s going to be all right.  Here, have some chocolate!”

But is that enough?  How do you truly overcome - spirit, mind, body, all of it?

Like our adversities which seem to pile up when we’re at our weakest, so too must our fight encompass all the areas under attack.

So, develop an “adversity emergency” kit and keep it handy.  Here’s one formula:

A c.d. with your favorite song to play on repeat

A big bar of chocolate

Your favorite scene from your favorite comedy movie on a DVD for instant playability

All the lights are on in the room you’re in

You have your best friend/mom/grandpa/etc. on speed dial

A bubble blowing kit

A collection of those squishy stress ball things.

Make sure you’re wearing comfortable clothes

Ignore or shut off e-mail/business phone/anything distracting

And do the above in any order OR all at once!  Granted, it may confuse the heck out of whomever is on the other line of your cell phone, but DO IT.

When depression attacks, fight back.  Recognize your limitations and “break the glass”

And your formula may be entirely different from above, but always have a good one - not one you’ve tired of.  Keep it original because your challenges are going to be coming from all forms and areas, I guarantee it!

GO ROCKY!!

I come from a very supportive family.  I don’t remember a time when I didn’t feel encouraged.  I never had a conversation with my parents where they tried to convince me to do something “just to pay the bills.”  If anything, my upbringing was of the “American Dream” mentality - “GO! DO IT!  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?  MAKE IT HAPPEN!”

And there are a lot of success stories who didn’t have such a strong support network and still turn out just fine.

However, there is something remarkable about the transition from childhood to adulthood - particularly just after graduation from college (which I recommend, by the way - in our time, a bachelor’s degree is the equivalent of a high school diploma - pretty soon you’ll need a doctorate to work at McDonald’s!  “You want fries with that?  How about my dissertation?”)

But I digress. 

You’ve graduated.  You’re firmly an adult and ready to tackle the great, big world.  It’s exciting, it’s filled with limitless potential.  You’re ready to relate to everyone on an adult level.  Everything has changed.

For an artist - or any creative person, for that matter - the down side is that everything has changed in the way the rest of society relates to you.  Your family is still there, supporting, loving, cheering for you, but everyone else wants you to constantly “prove yourself”

You need experience to get the good job - isn’t that what college was for?  To learn how to do the job?

You need references to be considered trustworthy - but family doesn’t count.  Aren’t they the ones who know you best?

You have a “probation period” before certain security/benefits/status takes effect - what is this, “buyer’s remorse?” 

You actually have encounters with people trying to tear you down - judging you, hoping you’ll fail.  And they may not be the kind Mom always said “were just jealous”

And when you return to the source of your training/preparation/guidance in college you find that while they were willing to help you get into debt, they aren’t very good at training/preparing/guiding you back out of it.

I’ve never heard of a business artist program in college.

I’ve never encountered a support network for creatives.

I’ve never seen/heard/received career guidance from an art professor (to anyone - not just me) that lead to a legitimate, sustainable opportunity for employment.

It’s a drop-off you didn’t know was there.  Scary!

Your family still loves/believes/encourages you, but if they aren’t creatives, that’s about all they can do.  The rest of the world is firmly set against your failure.

And this is a depressing reality.  Even other artists from supportive backgrounds will undermine your abilities.  Jealousy, contempt, ego, many base emotions abound - as if there were no potential for any success - as if there’s only a very small piece of the pie left and everything else is saturated. 

From what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of room for a lot of talent in this world.

So what is a creative to do?

The first step is to recognize this transition before you’ve emerged from the cocoon - years before.  Prepare yourself for it mentally, spiritually and physically.  Believe in the power and beauty of your abilities.

The second step is to begin networking NOW.  Don’t be afraid to collect reference letters in grade school if you have to.  Long-standing relationships speak volumes.

Next, grill your professors about everything you want to learn.  If they can’t teach you and you can transfer out to another school that will, DO IT.  Many creatives “can’t but teach” - I’ve run into a LOT of art teachers who can’t even draw!

And while you’re in school, LEARN BUSINESS!  The ability to relate to the non-creatives (who usually have the money, by the way) on their level will generate opportunities galore for you.  You’ll be educating them and making them re-define their terms and stereotypes. 

It’s never to late to start these processes.  Do not accept your current station and think of yourself as “too old” OR “too young” to do anything.  You’ll continue to learn until you die.  Don’t “get busy dying!”

When you’re the exception to the rule “about artists”, then you’ll gain trust, loyalty, employ-ability, and success.

Just like Mom and Dad always thought you would.

We live in a culture of irony. We’re told to “stay inside the lines”, then grow up to be told “think outside the box” We are told “good things take time” but are obsessed with internet speed and fast food.

The way we’re taught to deal with stress is another example. We’re bombarded with “what to avoid” or “what not to do” or “what’s bad for us” but rarely given any healthy, natural (or cheap) direction.

“Tension headache? Take…..(name your pill)”

“Trouble sleeping? Take….(name your pill)”

“Can’t concentrate? Take……(name your prescription)”

Our bodies were designed to be in motion. The great teachers and philosophers were always observing, exploring, traveling and sharing.

Now what do we promote? “Stay in your desk, and maybe we’ll have time for our weekly ½ hour of art. Let’s get out our practice standardized test now.”

Socrates is rolling in his grave right now.

Of course, this is just one person’s perspective. But I have been that child that was running EVERYWHERE. Always full of energy, mind churning. In fact, I could have been the poster boy for a whole new ADD drug.

And I was an honor student.

What was the “x-factor”? Outlets!

It doesn’t take a genius to know that if you fight your nature to discover, create, explore or just MOVE, that you are going to breed more stress than you can counter with a whole bottle of (you name it).

Until we achieve educational balance, here are some healthy, natural (and cheap) suggestions for nurturing your inner calm:

1) BREATHE! Oxygen has a calming effect. Take a few deep ones. Price: $0

2) Daydream. It’s not just for sleeping anymore. Your brain needs to process more than once a day. Schedule time and take a “space trip” Price: $0

3) Meditate. Combine the top 2 into a killer center. Close your eyes and find your “happy place” Price: $0

4) Positive imaging. Pretend any stress you’re dealing with is a wall of garbage in front of you. Invent a garbage eating bug and “watch” it eat your stress. Take as long as you need. Price: $0

5) Dance! It doesn’t matter what you look like. Take a ballet class or boogie like Tom Cruise. The results are undeniable. It’s an exercise in courage even alone in your living room (and people who tease you are jealous!) Price: $0 to wiggle in your boxer shorts in front of the dog.

6) Keep a journal. Keep it private, and say what you want the way you want. Price: $1 for a notebook and pen.

7) Doodle. On a scratch pad, scrap paper, anywhere, anything. Price: $0 (scrap paper is everywhere!)

Sculpt. Keep re-usable modeling clay handy. Take a moment and make a little something. (Or sculpt a “stress monster” and DESTROY IT!) Just having something to squeeze works wonders. Price: $2 for up to 4 sticks of clay (in pretty colors!)

9) Fabric arts. Knit one, pearl two. Perhaps take up quilting? Even cats enjoy a good ball of yarn! Price: Under $10 for needles and your choice of cat toy.

Achieving peace and tranquility? PRICELESS!

You now have a choice of solutions to combat stress for each day of the week. Use 1 incessantly or all each day. At the very least, “take 2 and call me when you’re chilled.”

By the way, here’s a list of some famous people who would be considered ADD by today’s standards (see if you notice a common theme here!)