I’ve heard “do your best” or “give it 110%” or the classic sports version “hustle!” but I don’t remember anyone recognizing that those are relative. 

If I’m too short to dunk a basketball, I may be giving my best but will probably never be giving Michael Jordan’s best.

If I have no sense of rhythm, I may be trying hard to keep count, but will never be giving Fred Astaire’s best.

Then again there are exceptions – if I’m terrible at math, I may or may not be giving Einstein’s best.

But it is the exceptions that I think too many people focus on as the norm – as if it’s easier to expect the same from everyone instead of taking the extra time to direct each person towards their strengths.

Granted, success stories are great inspiration and should be seen as the spirit of tenacity bringing dreams to fruition.  There was a time when Jordan couldn’t make the basketball team, when Astaire was a clumsy kid, and when Einstein flunked math.

A key difference is passion.

I’ve never met any successful person in any walk of life who didn’t work hard to achieve – ignoring nay-sayers, adversity, or just popular opinion.  Successful people aren’t super-human or from a distant planet, they just wanted it badly enough.  Sometimes a special teacher, coach or parent was involved.  Sometimes it was over many years of development.

On the other hand, every successful person I’ve ever met also recognized (or had astute help with recognizing) their destiny - it wasn’t a hopeless dream.  They knew they had potential - even if it didn’t make sense at the time (honestly, have you ever met a really good accountant who knew since childhood?)

And so I offer this challenge to you – are you soaring with your strengths, or trying to fit an Einstein into a Jordan?

Life is too short to try and recognize someone else’s potential and deny your own.  Work towards change starting today!

I enjoy teaching – mostly from the clinging hope that I inspire a child.  It staggers the imagination that their experience with me may also strengthen their resolve to be the next great leader, inventor, artist or patron.  

I received such inspiration throughout my childhood.  My parents introduced me to family and friends who could be such positive influences.  While neither was an artist per se, they found the right direction to keep me encouraged.  In the spirit of paying it forward, many of my posts to this blog should serve as advice and direction to other parents seeking the way.

But still there are folks who just don’t get it.  Sadder still are those who think they do and are horribly misinformed.  Encounters with those people are painful.

Case in point – I recently taught a class in abstract expressionism, focusing on Jackson Pollock.  If you know anything about him and his work, you know to explore the medium requires paint clothes.  I planned a version using large sheets of paper and crayons.  

The experience was still filled with energy, music, and little dancing artists.  The lines were expressive, uninhibited and everyone had a great time.   Even more encouraging was that they all understood the idea!

Then the parents showed up. 

“I paid $(class fee) for scribbles on paper?”

“What is this?”

Or the neutral “That’s nice.  No, you can’t put that up anywhere.”

The children’s faces were like a needle scratching across a record.  In one fell swoop the entire lesson and its inspiring message were destroyed.  Now the children were a product of their parents and some even looked at their artwork with disdain.

From a customer service perspective I wanted everyone to be happy.  That was impossible.  Regardless of the scant (and not profitable – we don’t see kids as dollar signs) fee they paid, they expected greatness.

From an educators perspective, I wanted to enlighten.  Their minds were closed and locked.  Regardless of the preceding hour and the creative ride they experienced, they were now “leaving the park.”

From a parent’s perspective, I wanted to nurture (or maybe re-nurture in this case.)  With what time?  A bad teacher can impact a student negatively for up to 4 years.  How much more can a bad parent?

It begs the question, what does such a person expect?  What do they understand?  Do you judge the penmanship of your child’s math homework as well or just check for the right answer?  It is the experience and the education – NOT the perceived value of the result. 

In short, judgements need not apply here.  Your child is not going to create master-level work in 45 minutes!

But in the face of such ignorance, I carried on.  I exercised “verbal judo” and responded confidently – and without interest in their opinions or asking for further feedback.  I stood in my role to enrich the child’s life with the class and I was successful.  I would not be a control freak beyond the experience.

I share this painful experience because I’m sure many of you have had a similar experience.  The spirit of creation takes a black eye and you can hardly believe what you’re hearing.  In the fragile ecosystem of art it’s enough to make many admit defeat.

But I also offer encouragement to you.  Great and successful people in all walks of life have similar encounters.  What makes them great and successful is the will to continue.  Know that you are in a minority and that in itself if rare and special. 

Maintain your tenacity and this too will be relegated to a memory with influence but not to incapacitate – to motivate.

Call me a rebel, but when it comes to gifts, I believe it really is “the thought that counts.” With the struggling economy, perhaps we should all focus a little less on materials and more on making memories.

Some of the greatest memories I have of the holidays had little-to-nothing to do with purchasing. I cherished the classic Christmas music playing throughout the house, helping my mom decorate (she was so particular about the way the tinsel lay on the tree!) and especially helping make cookies!

When it comes to making a similar impact on your children, there are several timeless directions to consider:

1) Snow-flake-a-rama! How easy and low-mess to create paper snow flakes. Use colored construction paper for a fun twist that can fit with your décor.  Fold, snip and discover. It nurtures a child’s curiosity, creativity and provides quick results. Fill up the house for a few bucks in paper and a pair of scissors.

2) DOUGH! Even if you’re not a fan of baking, grab a few tubes of pre-made cookie dough and see what happens. You don’t have to use cookie cutters – older children and a butter knife can make for some fun results. Younger chefs can even sculpt an original. Whether you cook up the products or just video tape the experience, you’ll be amazed at what your child thinks up. Don’t forget the colored sprinkles!

3) Time capsule: You may think you take enough photos/video/scrapbook material but how many do you actually save or print? Record your child’s thoughts about the holidays, even record them or just their voice in a mock interview. While you may find it commonplace now, that innocent perspective will be priceless to you and them in years to come. Make it an annual tradition and let it grow to include eventual spouses and grandchildren.

4) Remember where you came from: For your parents or even grandparents, compose a list of what you valued most about the holidays with them. They’ll be surprised at some of the things that made an impact. Use parchment paper, write in calligraphy, put a hand print on it – whatever makes it special and “frame-worthy.” At their age, they’ll appreciate it much more than “just something else to dust.”

The joy of discovery.  When was the last time you experienced it?

I’m not talking about learning something new – as many goals entail and fall short with your lack of endurance (did you really pick up a new language or become a virtuoso?)

I’m talking about trying those “sounds like fun” activities.  The ones that really aren’t that time consuming and would make for a good occupation for a Sunday afternoon or date night.

Expert status is not a goal.  You don’t even have to be good at it.  For example I find beach volleyball and shooting pool to be fun – and I’m terrible (but it’s fun to put on a game face so that accounts for something.)

And there are a lot of free programs out there so money really isn’t an issue for trying something new.

So what’s stopping you? 

One adversity is habit.  Forming or breaking a habit requires 7 consecutive events.  If you want to try something, it could be your habit for procrastination or talking yourself out of it is getting in the way.

Another strong adversity is age.  As we age, we naturally tend to slow down as life seems to speed up.  We also tend to reject change and new technology.  It’s not really a choice, just a trait of the aging process. 

Both of these can be acknowledged and rejected.  If you somehow make time for eating, sleeping and using the facilities, you know you can set aside a few minutes to learn Chinese Checkers – and play with your kids at the same time!

If you’re a parent, you may be allowing or disallowing your child to follow the same path.  Don’t forget the little ones and how their lives may be enriched by a random experience.

Wouldn’t it be great if your high school guidance counselor got a re-evaluation of your life and identified new potential (if they were any good in the first place, that is.)  You can be that for yourself and your children.

Throw a canvas and some paint at them and see what happens.

Drop a tub of blocks in the middle of them and see what happens.

Give them a blob of clay and see what happens.

In short, even if you’re an old fuddy-duddy, you can still have conduct your own field experiments a la Discovery Channel special.  “Kids in the wild!  These children have been placed in the middle of a field with an assortment of plastic toys and balls.  Let’s see what they come up with!” 

It promotes creativity and you can incorporate a whole set of values if “rules” become a part of the experience (”What happens if the rubber chicken lands on the red square?”)

A little thing can make a big impact in your life or the life of your child.  And you may change the world because you were important in that life.  While life keeps changing around you, don’t discount your on-going responsibility to change the world in your own way.

This is a new column I plan to revisit from time to time with the sole purpose of giving lesson ideas to parents, teachers and creatives.  I encourage any of  you to contact me and to even share your ideas as well.  I believe in a creative think tank and it can only help the collective be more inspirational to generations to come.

I used to love Color forms when I was a kid. I only had 1 set but I would play for hours, letting my imagination develop story lines as I arranged the pieces accordingly. A great and cheap outlet for the visual artist in your fold involves a similar project.

It’s amazing the amount of fun you can have with a pad of construction paper and safety scissors. Young artists are big fans of representationalism (i.e. “it is what I say it is”) if you’ve ever seen a first graders picture of their family, you now understand what I mean.

So if your child is anything like I was, they’ll spend hours developing characters, and remembering everything else they need to create for their story. Even costume changes are an option. Have them pick a nice bright background “set” and position the characters and their props to tell the story.

I’m also a big fan of the collage. Little hands develop strength in ripping pieces for a mosaic effect while advanced cutters can develop patience for more precise pieces. You can separate the various colors into separate containers for re-usable collages, or if a static image is preferred, break out the glue stick!

If you’re working with them, keep your (and their) expectations reasonable. Remember, that there’s no such thing as perfect, and let the process take the time the child needs to take. Some kids only need a few minutes, and others can work all day long.

The best things about this lesson: 1) It can work into any time of the year – holiday or not; 2) It’s cheap! ; 3) It’s easy to clean up; 4) It’s “green” – a lot of construction paper all ready includes recycled content.

And, for you career-focusing parents, this form of play has a future in it. It can lead to advanced occupations such as the fine art of paper-cutting (Scherenschnitte) fashion design, or even animation – in fact, break out the stop-motion camera if you’re so inclined and create a cartoon!”