It has been said that “it’s lonely at the top.”  Regardless of your definition of success – in business, love, or life in general – it can be a relative certainty. 

People who “live the dream” or simply attain notoriety for their perspective are a rare breed.  They’re often leaders, singular in ability, or sharply focused on their achievements in life’s journey.  Tenacity is a common virtue.

On the other hand, when you’re to such a level of accomplishments, you can find yourself frustrated.  Either propriety prohibits fraternization or no one can relate to you.  Indeed, you find room for only one on your mountain top.

I offer this as someone who is “living the dream” and still is not satisfied to rest on his laurels.  At the risk of egotism, I consider myself to be a bit of a “mutant” and suggest that you too consider such a status. 

You are an endangered species and as such are to be admired, even viewed from a distance so as not to be disturbed. 

You are a symbol of greater things to achieve and a role model for those who may not know how to achieve them.   

You are approachable but rarely approached for fear that your followers may be found unworthy.

It’s an odd dichotomy.  But wear it as a badge of honor and be proud to serve in such a role.  It was bestowed upon you for both a reason and a purpose.

I have a renewed commitment to listen to my instincts.  I wouldn’t call it a resolution as much as a habit-under-development.  By now most resolutions are starting to fall to the wayside and the act of breaking them is almost as ritualistic as making them in the first place.

I think everyone has that “voice in their head” that has grown from experiences, role models and environment.  Some call it the 6th sense, others call it a conscience.  Reporters call it their “nose” and detectives call it a “hunch.”  Manly men call it their “gut” and womanly women call it “intuition.” More often than not it’s pretty good advice and worth at least listening to, but how many of us ignore the red flags anyway?

A classic example of such folly is a horror movie.  The quintessential hiker lost in the woods finds a creepy house and, despite the music playing, goes inside and takes a shower (WHY?  Can’t they hear the music?) 

I don’t remember a lot of help developing my instincts.  They didn’t even have a class in college for it.   But many agree the first response is the correct one.  I would even challenge you to keep track of decisions based on listening or ignoring them – and see what the success rate of each direction is.

Consider instincts to be the voice of experience.  The older one gets, the more they experience.  Patterns become obvious.   Pop culture is notorious for this.  Pick your favorite fad or movie and go back 10 years to see what was popular then.  You will be shocked at the similarity.

I look forward to your response and comments are welcome.  Although I have a “feeling” you’ll be more focused on your own development and too busy to post.

I’ve never met someone who doesn’t understand the game Limbo.  “How low can you go?” is the mantra.  It’s sometimes used as a metaphor for discipline – tighten the belt, stay strong, hold on tight, keep the faith and other similar transfers.  But I wish to challenge you in a different direction.  Instead of restricting or removing, why not think in terms of limitless possibility? 

Dreaming is a natural part of life.  If you don’t dream when you sleep, you’re dead (literally!) so why not stay “extra healthy” and do it when you’re awake?  Dreamers are good to have around too.  Their energy and enthusiasm is contagious and makes for a positive environment.  In the big picture, there are no real limitations to making certain dreams a reality.  The only “elephant in the room” is the almighty dollar.

In a retail job I held in a former life, I was often told “sales fixes everything” and for most of us, money is the only obstacle to our goals being realized.  It can be formidable and undeniable to be sure, but chance also favors the prepared.  If an attitude of “why not” is adopted, then a plan of action follows.  When the last peg falls into place, it will be met with great momentum. 

I caution you not to be impatient.  Our speed-obsessed, instant-gratification society may scoff at this sentiment, but good things take time.  In my experience, (with hindsight being 20/20) a good result takes the time it needs to take.   All too often I’ve seen that patience was prudence and even if my “final peg” came early, the lack of plan or execution of a plan would have made for disaster.  In the meantime, evolution, refinement and the cultivation of new ideas can occur.  

So take some regular time to raise your own bar and see what happens.  I think you’ll find a new measure of success – and that it suits you!

On the viability of an idea, a wise man once told me: “I take every good idea and blow holes in it.”  It sounded pretty insane to me at the time.  Everyone has a bit of self-consciousness, even an inferiority complex to a certain degree.  Why develop that?

Negativity is never in short-supply.  You don’t need to encourage anyone to criticize you – most will even do it for free.  I have never met any successful people in any walk of life who didn’t meet with a great deal of adversity in some form.

But then I looked at his method from a self-preservation perspective.  He would pretend to completely hate what he created, and what was left was what was worth developing.  He wasn’t being his own worst enemy, he was being prepared.  By refining the idea, he was ready with the right answer to any potential glitch.  If chance favors the prepared, then it should be impressed as well.

So despite my creative nature, I will develop my business sense to include a dispassionate counsel.  A refined idea meeting a practical application beats blind ambition meeting a bird cage floor.

Seek to understand first and be understood second.  I’m paraphrasing a great quote that advises the path to quality communication.  It’s good direction for business, personal, even casual interactions.  When you find someone interesting, they’re obliged to return the favor.  Some who feel uncomfortable talking about themselves may even let you dominate the conversation.

But if the opposite exists, does this mean that you can’t follow your own agenda for the meeting?

In addressing just business interactions here, it’s still a tricky social game and there are many rules of engagement.  You want to show respect without allowing for too many tangents.  You don’t want to be the Everyman but you do hope to grow more opportunities.  You need to demonstrate your character without overdoing it.

In my experience, developing a sense for people can be seen as a talent or a skill, but one that requires honing nonetheless.  I’ve never met a good salesperson who didn’t start out rough, awkward and green.  Everyone has to pay their dues, but is there an economy plan?

Indeed there are some shortcuts.

1) Understand their needs.  They’ve obviously agreed to discuss a particular interest with you.  Respect the interest for what it is and don’t try and overwhelm them with options.  I’ve seen too many a salesperson derail their own opportunity by diverting the interest (and thereby, the sale)

2) Be prepared.  Pretend they know nothing and have more questions than you’ve ever fielded.  If you’re informed, you’ll impress.

3) Give-and-take.  Ask a question about their goals when they have a question about implementing your service or product.  You may find that there are other applications they don’t know about – or that a different option is in their best interests.

4)  Be them.  Pretend that the roles are reversed.  It’s the Golden Rule in sales.  Perception is a powerful thing and you want to convince them you’re genuine.  The best way?  Be genuine! 

With every interaction, as with every game, there is a winner and a loser.  While losing may be their losing their budget to your options, it can also be your options not being what they need.  As long as you maintain your character and integrity, there will be more opportunities to replace those that failed to blossom.