Do you remember a Christmas where you got THE gift you hoped for?  You begged, pleaded, wrote Santa more than once, prayed every night – it was definitely obvious to everyone.  Then the morning came and there it was!  Joy of joys!

Now do you remember where you left that wondrous gift?  Is it even in your possession anymore? 

How quickly we change.  Even as adults, too many of us look for the bigger, better deal or the new shiny object.  A wise person once said that a free man has nothing.  Somewhere between quality of life and poverty lies the balance.

A career is much like that.  I’m not speaking about how much money you should make, but the vocation that gives you a reason for getting out of bed.  With as short as life is, we should all have one.  But a very precious few are actually “living the dream.”  Or, they work hard to get where they think they should be, only to find it lacks luster relatively quickly – just like the Christmas gift.

Even the deeply-reflective, carefully-planning, “eyes wide open” career holders can wind up in a rut.  I remember many investigations, correspondence, job shadows and soul searching about “what I should be when I grow up.”  Granted, many interesting people still don’t know at 50.  I just happened to decide at 7.  And yet, I still have many experiences that prove to be the “job” part of “living the dream.”

So it’s about shifting your focus, isn’t it?  Remembering why you are where you are and reflecting on the more romantic and even honorable aspects of the job.  Embracing your purpose and posting reminders of it everywhere, if need be.

Just like your diet, you can’t eat junk food all day every day.  You’re going to have to ingest some fiber sometime.  Recognize that any position is going to have “brussel sprouts” – as long as you’re not spending your whole day eating them.

Onward and upward!

As the last of my “spec work” falls off the grid, I reflect again on the habits I’m arresting – and the new ones I hope to form.

Through these posts I’ve discussed many of the classic problems that seem timeless in the art world,  most stemming from a personality that (as a very wise person once said) never wants to “put any skin in the game.”

And now I propose the following for your own reflection:   turn your thoughts toward the relationships that you lead, such as with those that support you – even staffing.  Are you training and developing well, or just “well enough?”

I paraphrase Reagan: “surround yourself with those who are good at what you aren’t, and let them do their job.”  Ask yourself, “When it comes to my own goals and strategy, am I forcing others to be that which I cannot?  Or am I recognizing limitations and allowing for a limited growth?”

It’s counter-cultural to be patient.  There’s even an increase in a.d.d. symptoms as more people try to master multi-tasking.  Fruitless efforts are met with a drop in I.Q.

Maybe the “skin you need to put in the game” is not only patience for the right outcome, but even for the right person, limiting yourself (and even potential growth) to that which you can completely command.  

As my own worst enemy I need to keep cogniscent of such a tendency.  If I can’t do “perfect” on a small scale, I certainly can’t do better by overcompensating.

As a typical visual artist, I still struggle with a bit of an inferiority complex about my work, and a perfectionist nature.  This isn’t helped much by my goal to be a professional in all things business.  If anything, it’s only amplified.  However, I recognize these tendencies and try to keep a relatively tight leash on them.

Because I try to keep “raising my own bar”, I also appreciate other creatives that do the same.  They’re good to align with.  It’s good networking and reflects well on my judgement in matters such as referring business to them.  Loyalty is bred 3 ways.

However, these connections are rare exceptions to the rule.  The nature of the creative is alive and well – in every stereotypical sense.  That which makes you a great entertainer also makes you terrible with punctuality, planning, and many other business skills.  Ultimately one will be stronger than the other (which is why agents have such a powerful responsibility.)

While the networking works, a part of my own worst enemy is knowing when I’m networking and when I’m babysitting a relationship. 

My wife will agree that I have a tremendous amount of energy.  I’ve both enjoyed it and also found it frustrating to be alone with my endurance when others have gone to bed.  As such, my endurance for relationships is equally long – I remain loyal, invest a lot of energy to them, and try to do all I can to help/mentor/promote/etc.

But I’m seeing more and more that successful people are not only tenacious with opportunity – even generating it from scratch - but often just accept what comes their way.  They act, they do the diligence and they invite more.  It’s another kind of endurance.  Still, as another return-on-an-investment, there comes a time when the energy put in isn’t reciprocated.  The energy would be better applied to a fruitful direction.

I’m learning to accept that sometimes I need to allow my own progress to distance myself from “like minds”  and enjoy my own ride.  Hopefully I’ll even find someone who will allow me to ride with them to the next level.

There is a terrible 2-part trend in the art world today.  It’s world-wide, and not limited to any particular genre.  The first part is the inferiority complex of the artist coupled with a desire to become a success.  The second part is the individual perception of the artist. 

This is not limited to those who are trying out something new and then trying to make a living at it.  This includes classically trained, highly experienced artists as well.  The artist may not have an inferiority complex but I’ve yet to meet a successful professional that didn’t at least have a perfectionist nature (which is almost as bad in the equation.)

What happens is often a de-valuation of the art.

It’s seen in business – how many jobs are shipped overseas because of the bottom line?  How many corporations place a higher value on the cost than the people making it?  Even the quality of the work falls short of the expense.

With the trend to acquire skills or product as cheaply as possible, our consumerism only perpetuates the 3rd part of this series - the artist taking on too many projects to make up for lost income. 

The worst version of this habit is what is known as ”spec work”  If you’re not an artist, this is the kind of opportunity where you aren’t paid (or are paid very little), but receive “great exposure” for your work.

Exposure marketing is valid – if you’re the new Pizza Hut in town.  It’s good to let people know you exist.

However, there is another form of marketing that drives traffic to you – usually an ad, special, discount, etc.  The end result is to make a sale.  Artists need THAT kind of marketing.

Spec work is not it.  Being paid poorly or not at all also affects the local market.  If everyone in services could agree to keep within a certain range (I’m not advocating price fixing) then the customer could decide who had the most professional, quality option.  As I’ve written before, avoid being the under-cutter – or competing with them.  Most often these people are desperate, poor quality and fly-by-night.  You don’t want to be lumped in with that.

 But still spec customers try.  They’ll tie in the “living your faith” plea or plead hardship – or the most risky “you’ll get paid on the back end.”

I’m guilty of being in these situations – although it mostly occurred in my youth when I was more idealistic, energetic and naive.  But I find that I’m still a little of each. 

A notable example is a recent project whose proponent had actually sought me out on the internet.  He enjoyed my style of work and the openness with which I ran my business.  Being a man of faith, he also appreciated my “attitude of gratitude” and how I gave credit where credit was due (to God.)  In retrospect, I see that he played all 3 cards at our initial meeting – faith, poverty and “royalty” agreement.  But, as a professional I wanted to ensure the work matched his vision and prepared concept sketches to his approval – with the proviso that his work would be completed at a comfortable (but committed) pace with a deadline while other current projects took precedence. 

And then the pressure came.  His lack of preparation led to unreasonable deadlines, rethinking the work, back-tracking on approved concepts and a general loss of time.  Somehow it was my fault.  Not to mention that he developed a problem with my maintaining previous relationships with actual paying clients.  His true nature was revealed. 

In the end, I worked at least 40 hours for nothing.  He received no products, but I also received no pay.

And so  this is the year I completely stand my ground.  It’s true that you get what you pay for, and I need to believe 1 or another truths – either I’m a terrible artist, or they’re a terrible customer.  I have to choose the prior for my own sanity, and suppress my inferiority complex – part of my own worst enemy.

I’ve decided that this is the year of listening to my instincts.  

It was decided some time ago.  Even the idea was a long time coming, and perhaps well over due, though the timing seems perfect now.   I anticipate it will be a lengthy process before a good habit is formed.  After all, I’m not only working against my tendency to over-think things, but against societal trends as well. 

Consider – we’re flooded with choices, especially in entertainment.  So much so that we barely have time to think before we need to make another selection.  Our quality of life becomes linked with instant gratification.   Meanwhile we’re developing A.D.D., impatience, and a lack of appreciation for anything that takes the time it needs to take (can you imagine the quality of work if the Mona Lisa was created on today’s deadline-driven schedule?)

And so, I recognize it will be a bit of an uphill battle. I have no expectations of when I’ll be acting more instinctual, but I do expect to get out of my own head eventually.

But why, you may ask, do I have the interest in such things anyway?  On one hand we all have a certain reflex thinking to different scenarios.  You see it in every horror movie:

Naïve girl:  “Oh look!  A scary house!  I should go inside and take a shower!” 

Audience: “No!  Don’t you hear the music?  And the lighting is dark and foreboding!”

On the other hand, how many of us have said “Dang! (or another choice word) I should’ve known better!” in any number of outcomes?

Can’t I be satisfied with the 50/50 chance?  Why not accept a healthy average and not focus on it so much?  A lot of people are happy with “contentment.”

But this pursuit is encouraged and even stereotyped in a number of professions.  In journalism, it’s a “nose” for the story.  In crime prevention, it’s a “gut” for the right direction.   Leaders and captains of industry have a “sense” about certain directions – despite what the statistics say.  Sometimes the risk pays off in a huge and illogical way.

And how many of us respect those that make a bold decision – even if they fail – because we admire their courage of conviction, faith, or just a lack of fear?

Isn’t that what it all comes down to – fear?   Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of judgment, fear of the outcome.

When did we develop these fears?  Why do they have such commitment from us?

Even if fear is taken out of the equation – if for no other reason, I seek to “raise my own bar” and to continue to grow as a professional, I can’t just settle for the status quo.  I think it’s a part of continuing to live the dream.  There’s a price to pay even once you’ve arrived.

An artist can have a “feeling” about a project.  Perhaps it’s the color used in a work.  Maybe it’s the brush stroke or even a different application of paint altogether.  Maybe the scope of the project is one that needs to evolve.  It’s possible the idea itself needs to “percolate” a little more before its time has come.

In business relationships, some people strike you as “odd” for a reason.  Others strike you as having enormous potential.  You get a feeling you’d like to keep in touch with some connections and others you hope lose your contact info.

In the coming weeks, I hope to provide not only updates on this process but also specific examples to further prove the point.  As I work to defeat my own worst enemy and everything he represents, I look forward to updating you on the results.  I also hope you find encouragement to do the same.