I’m reminded of my purpose today.

I’m sure it’s different from yours, just as your dreams, goal, and all experiences towards those ends are.  Then again, I’d hope that we would have similar revelations along the way – especially if we aspire to be noble.

But how often are you reminded?  Do you set post-its in front of you, have an alarm to wake you up from apathy, or a support group who keeps you motivated?

It’s a key change from the support and nurturing of our childhood to the constant struggle as adults.  I don’t run into a lot of mentoring experiences, nor do I meet a lot of people who are mentored.  One can only hope and pray that the adults in the world are receiving continued guidance – otherwise, what’s to prevent chaos?

But I digress – I’m not paranoid nor do I subscribe to theories about the apocalypse.  Maybe it’s ignorance, but really – what are you going to do about such things anyway?

So in the meantime, I focus on the here and now.  Tomorrow is not a guarantee and yesterday is unchangeable.

I believe there are 5 major areas we should all keep strong to enjoy a well-balanced and joyful existence:  Personal, professional, physical, emotional and spiritual.  Each of these has a purpose:

Personal is your friendships, family, spouse/significant other.

Professional is your vocation or career.

Physical is your personal health and fitness

Emotional is your mental well-being.

Spiritual is your system of beliefs.

Each of these areas has a state of flux.  I don’t often have a perfect “5 by 5″ nor do I often encounter anyone else who does – BUT, there is a purpose for each category and a role I need to fulfill towards achieving success.

Will you be reminded – and reminded often – of your purpose?  Or will your life stagnate in any area?  Seek to have a fire lit under you, a bird in your ear, or just a gentle nagging to keep your purpose and its progress.

I LOVE Halloween.  It’s one of the few times of year where you can be imaginative – even as an adult – and it’s not only socially acceptable, but even encouraged.  In fact, I’m the Halloween equivalent of “Clark Griswold” – from décor to costuming, to even the services my company offers at that season, I embrace it. 

But there are several things I’ve learned over the years both as a parent and a professional that are undeniable once discovered and I’d like to share them with you: 

Costumes:  Kids can come up with some wonderful (and potentially expensive) ideas for costumes.  Before you agree to anything, do a little research to create choices.  The last thing you want to deal with is trying to find a costume that’s out-of-stock (think Christmas-time for costumes) or doesn’t exist to begin with, forcing you to dig deep and create from scratch yourself.  

A parent trained in “verbal judo” will be able to re-direct their child’s idea to these pre-determined, doable options.  Help them understand that there are “column A, column B and column C” – and if they’re into a lot of different things, you’ll be able to direct them to the right answer.

On the other hand, the best costumes I’ve ever seen were home made.  But if you don’t have the time to sew, you may still be able to create the right effect with household items.  Old sheets still make the best ghosts, shredded old clothes are perfect for zombies or werewolves, and dress-up clothes are perfect for princesses. 

If you choose to purchase (and you know it exists) you can find a number of on-line retailers who will have many options for you.  They have variations as well, so you can pick the least expensive costume (and only show your child that one.) Do the research alone first, because any specialty costume shop online or in the city has ALL the options and you’ll want to avoid impact or questions. 

If you’re not sure about sizes, many of the specialty stores have dressing rooms. Again, make a preliminary run without the kids so you can create a path through the store and shield their eyes (and your ears from questions.)  If you’d rather not risk it, stick with the big box stores.  They’ll have limited options, but also limited impact. 

If specialty shops are the only option, there are a few other things to be aware of.  Even though many have dressing rooms, they are makeshift and not very secure.  Be prepared to stand in front of the flimsy curtain “door” they set up for added coverage of your little goblin-to-be.  When trying on a costume, go for a size bigger than you think you need.  To keep costs down, the stitching is minimal and the cloth used is as thin as possible to provide the effect.    I.e., they’re sometimes “see-through” and they rip easily. If you can avoid trying the costume on and longevity is not a concern, at least make sure the costume is in good shape to begin with.  You may not be the first person to have worn it (cleaning before wearing may be a wise decision.)  Also remember that many specialty shops have a no-return policy, so be sure you’re comfortable with the selection before purchasing. 

Accessories:  Again, there are a number of options.  Once you’ve streamlined the theme for you or your child, you may find that accessories ARE the costume entirely.   A mask could be the entire costume (for example the werewolf head – no one really looks below the neck on those.)  However, I’ve also found masks come in 2 categories – easily broken (remember the little rubber band strap?  It still exists), or hot & hard-to-see-through.  Even the most awesome-looking (and very expensive) mask will have severely limited vision, only more restricted by walking around in the dark.

So consider a simple and effective approach.  For example, a black sweat suit can be painted with fluorescent fabric paint and a skeleton costume can be created.  Complete the effect with face painting.  Beware what kind of makeup you use.  The grease paint kits in the stores are hard to create the right effect with and hard to clean off (baby oil is your friend for those.)  Face paint kits sold in stores are most often tempera paint which will crack and flake off easily, turning your clown into a zombie clown.  You may also want to do a test patch on the skin to check for potential allergic reaction.   In both cases, don’t be tempted to save the makeup for next year.  All makeup has an expiration date, and paint will grow mold in it.  Just throw it out and start fresh next year. 

The “Haunt”:  Haunted houses are scary/fun but I’ve never seen one that was “merry not scary” or completely “blood & guts free.”  Be warned that if you’re child is not into being constantly startled, don’t go!  The more imaginative child will have nightmares from just about anything, so don’t assume because they have lots of ideas and creativity that they’ll enjoy the experience.  You’ll more likely scar them for life.

Consider having a party at your house, or a joint party among friends.  You can control the options from the snacks to the “scares.”  If you’re not into a lot of preparation, turn to the professionals.  Make the party a “pre-trick-or-treat” event and hire a professional makeup artist to come to your home, complete the costumes with facial work, and take pictures of the kids for souvenirs; Have a professional magician, story teller, or even animal show for the guests; You can even hire an “exterior decorator” create an on-site haunted house to your specifications (I’m personally affiliated with such quality professionals and would be happy to make recommendations.)

An Irish proverb reads “you’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.”  Those are true words – living vicariously through our children is a terrible habit.

I marvel at how both my wife’s and my talents emerge in each of our children.  Some have more of a certain gift than another, and some have entirely new talents and abilities that excite me when I think about the potential.  But, I also recognize that they need to be passionate about that potential as well.  It’s a delicate balance. 

There is an extension to the formula into our adulthood.  A career path can be influenced, inspired or directed by others.  Have you ever found that you’re being groomed to be someone else’s “replacement?”

Sometimes the comparissons are to people we don’t even know!  I often hear about someone doing something similar to what I do, or so-and-so’s brother/friend from college/uncle being really talented.  It always seems to me like an effort to diminish my efforts or abilities as “not so special.” 

When did the encouragement we received as children stop?  Why are we always comparing and judging instead of just celebrating variety?  So many things make an individual unique and yet the headlines all focus on the superficial – race, sex, orientation, handicap and so on.

I spend a lot of time NOT watching the news – especially anything reporting on entertainment.  I make connections with talented people outside of my profession, and I focus on my own path regardless of “who else is doing that.”  Isn’t that just the adult version of “mind your own business?”

If we all minded our own business, imagine how productive we could all be – and how much room we would have to enjoy our life – and celebrate others’ accomplishments.

Onward and upward!

Do you remember a Christmas where you got THE gift you hoped for?  You begged, pleaded, wrote Santa more than once, prayed every night – it was definitely obvious to everyone.  Then the morning came and there it was!  Joy of joys!

Now do you remember where you left that wondrous gift?  Is it even in your possession anymore? 

How quickly we change.  Even as adults, too many of us look for the bigger, better deal or the new shiny object.  A wise person once said that a free man has nothing.  Somewhere between quality of life and poverty lies the balance.

A career is much like that.  I’m not speaking about how much money you should make, but the vocation that gives you a reason for getting out of bed.  With as short as life is, we should all have one.  But a very precious few are actually “living the dream.”  Or, they work hard to get where they think they should be, only to find it lacks luster relatively quickly – just like the Christmas gift.

Even the deeply-reflective, carefully-planning, “eyes wide open” career holders can wind up in a rut.  I remember many investigations, correspondence, job shadows and soul searching about “what I should be when I grow up.”  Granted, many interesting people still don’t know at 50.  I just happened to decide at 7.  And yet, I still have many experiences that prove to be the “job” part of “living the dream.”

So it’s about shifting your focus, isn’t it?  Remembering why you are where you are and reflecting on the more romantic and even honorable aspects of the job.  Embracing your purpose and posting reminders of it everywhere, if need be.

Just like your diet, you can’t eat junk food all day every day.  You’re going to have to ingest some fiber sometime.  Recognize that any position is going to have “brussel sprouts” – as long as you’re not spending your whole day eating them.

Onward and upward!

As the last of my “spec work” falls off the grid, I reflect again on the habits I’m arresting – and the new ones I hope to form.

Through these posts I’ve discussed many of the classic problems that seem timeless in the art world,  most stemming from a personality that (as a very wise person once said) never wants to “put any skin in the game.”

And now I propose the following for your own reflection:   turn your thoughts toward the relationships that you lead, such as with those that support you – even staffing.  Are you training and developing well, or just “well enough?”

I paraphrase Reagan: “surround yourself with those who are good at what you aren’t, and let them do their job.”  Ask yourself, “When it comes to my own goals and strategy, am I forcing others to be that which I cannot?  Or am I recognizing limitations and allowing for a limited growth?”

It’s counter-cultural to be patient.  There’s even an increase in a.d.d. symptoms as more people try to master multi-tasking.  Fruitless efforts are met with a drop in I.Q.

Maybe the “skin you need to put in the game” is not only patience for the right outcome, but even for the right person, limiting yourself (and even potential growth) to that which you can completely command.  

As my own worst enemy I need to keep cogniscent of such a tendency.  If I can’t do “perfect” on a small scale, I certainly can’t do better by overcompensating.