I LOVE Halloween.  It’s one of the few times of year where you can be imaginative – even as an adult – and it’s not only socially acceptable, but even encouraged.  In fact, I’m the Halloween equivalent of “Clark Griswold” – from décor to costuming, to even the services my company offers at that season, I embrace it. 

But there are several things I’ve learned over the years both as a parent and a professional that are undeniable once discovered and I’d like to share them with you: 

Costumes:  Kids can come up with some wonderful (and potentially expensive) ideas for costumes.  Before you agree to anything, do a little research to create choices.  The last thing you want to deal with is trying to find a costume that’s out-of-stock (think Christmas-time for costumes) or doesn’t exist to begin with, forcing you to dig deep and create from scratch yourself.  

A parent trained in “verbal judo” will be able to re-direct their child’s idea to these pre-determined, doable options.  Help them understand that there are “column A, column B and column C” – and if they’re into a lot of different things, you’ll be able to direct them to the right answer.

On the other hand, the best costumes I’ve ever seen were home made.  But if you don’t have the time to sew, you may still be able to create the right effect with household items.  Old sheets still make the best ghosts, shredded old clothes are perfect for zombies or werewolves, and dress-up clothes are perfect for princesses. 

If you choose to purchase (and you know it exists) you can find a number of on-line retailers who will have many options for you.  They have variations as well, so you can pick the least expensive costume (and only show your child that one.) Do the research alone first, because any specialty costume shop online or in the city has ALL the options and you’ll want to avoid impact or questions. 

If you’re not sure about sizes, many of the specialty stores have dressing rooms. Again, make a preliminary run without the kids so you can create a path through the store and shield their eyes (and your ears from questions.)  If you’d rather not risk it, stick with the big box stores.  They’ll have limited options, but also limited impact. 

If specialty shops are the only option, there are a few other things to be aware of.  Even though many have dressing rooms, they are makeshift and not very secure.  Be prepared to stand in front of the flimsy curtain “door” they set up for added coverage of your little goblin-to-be.  When trying on a costume, go for a size bigger than you think you need.  To keep costs down, the stitching is minimal and the cloth used is as thin as possible to provide the effect.    I.e., they’re sometimes “see-through” and they rip easily. If you can avoid trying the costume on and longevity is not a concern, at least make sure the costume is in good shape to begin with.  You may not be the first person to have worn it (cleaning before wearing may be a wise decision.)  Also remember that many specialty shops have a no-return policy, so be sure you’re comfortable with the selection before purchasing. 

Accessories:  Again, there are a number of options.  Once you’ve streamlined the theme for you or your child, you may find that accessories ARE the costume entirely.   A mask could be the entire costume (for example the werewolf head – no one really looks below the neck on those.)  However, I’ve also found masks come in 2 categories – easily broken (remember the little rubber band strap?  It still exists), or hot & hard-to-see-through.  Even the most awesome-looking (and very expensive) mask will have severely limited vision, only more restricted by walking around in the dark.

So consider a simple and effective approach.  For example, a black sweat suit can be painted with fluorescent fabric paint and a skeleton costume can be created.  Complete the effect with face painting.  Beware what kind of makeup you use.  The grease paint kits in the stores are hard to create the right effect with and hard to clean off (baby oil is your friend for those.)  Face paint kits sold in stores are most often tempera paint which will crack and flake off easily, turning your clown into a zombie clown.  You may also want to do a test patch on the skin to check for potential allergic reaction.   In both cases, don’t be tempted to save the makeup for next year.  All makeup has an expiration date, and paint will grow mold in it.  Just throw it out and start fresh next year. 

The “Haunt”:  Haunted houses are scary/fun but I’ve never seen one that was “merry not scary” or completely “blood & guts free.”  Be warned that if you’re child is not into being constantly startled, don’t go!  The more imaginative child will have nightmares from just about anything, so don’t assume because they have lots of ideas and creativity that they’ll enjoy the experience.  You’ll more likely scar them for life.

Consider having a party at your house, or a joint party among friends.  You can control the options from the snacks to the “scares.”  If you’re not into a lot of preparation, turn to the professionals.  Make the party a “pre-trick-or-treat” event and hire a professional makeup artist to come to your home, complete the costumes with facial work, and take pictures of the kids for souvenirs; Have a professional magician, story teller, or even animal show for the guests; You can even hire an “exterior decorator” create an on-site haunted house to your specifications (I’m personally affiliated with such quality professionals and would be happy to make recommendations.)

An Irish proverb reads “you’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.”  Those are true words – living vicariously through our children is a terrible habit.

I marvel at how both my wife’s and my talents emerge in each of our children.  Some have more of a certain gift than another, and some have entirely new talents and abilities that excite me when I think about the potential.  But, I also recognize that they need to be passionate about that potential as well.  It’s a delicate balance. 

There is an extension to the formula into our adulthood.  A career path can be influenced, inspired or directed by others.  Have you ever found that you’re being groomed to be someone else’s “replacement?”

Sometimes the comparissons are to people we don’t even know!  I often hear about someone doing something similar to what I do, or so-and-so’s brother/friend from college/uncle being really talented.  It always seems to me like an effort to diminish my efforts or abilities as “not so special.” 

When did the encouragement we received as children stop?  Why are we always comparing and judging instead of just celebrating variety?  So many things make an individual unique and yet the headlines all focus on the superficial – race, sex, orientation, handicap and so on.

I spend a lot of time NOT watching the news – especially anything reporting on entertainment.  I make connections with talented people outside of my profession, and I focus on my own path regardless of “who else is doing that.”  Isn’t that just the adult version of “mind your own business?”

If we all minded our own business, imagine how productive we could all be – and how much room we would have to enjoy our life – and celebrate others’ accomplishments.

Onward and upward!