SmART Ideas: You get what THEY expect
I enjoy teaching – mostly from the clinging hope that I inspire a child. It staggers the imagination that their experience with me may also strengthen their resolve to be the next great leader, inventor, artist or patron.
I received such inspiration throughout my childhood. My parents introduced me to family and friends who could be such positive influences. While neither was an artist per se, they found the right direction to keep me encouraged. In the spirit of paying it forward, many of my posts to this blog should serve as advice and direction to other parents seeking the way.
But still there are folks who just don’t get it. Sadder still are those who think they do and are horribly misinformed. Encounters with those people are painful.
Case in point – I recently taught a class in abstract expressionism, focusing on Jackson Pollock. If you know anything about him and his work, you know to explore the medium requires paint clothes. I planned a version using large sheets of paper and crayons.
The experience was still filled with energy, music, and little dancing artists. The lines were expressive, uninhibited and everyone had a great time. Even more encouraging was that they all understood the idea!
Then the parents showed up.
“I paid $(class fee) for scribbles on paper?”
“What is this?”
Or the neutral “That’s nice. No, you can’t put that up anywhere.”
The children’s faces were like a needle scratching across a record. In one fell swoop the entire lesson and its inspiring message were destroyed. Now the children were a product of their parents and some even looked at their artwork with disdain.
From a customer service perspective I wanted everyone to be happy. That was impossible. Regardless of the scant (and not profitable – we don’t see kids as dollar signs) fee they paid, they expected greatness.
From an educators perspective, I wanted to enlighten. Their minds were closed and locked. Regardless of the preceding hour and the creative ride they experienced, they were now “leaving the park.”
From a parent’s perspective, I wanted to nurture (or maybe re-nurture in this case.) With what time? A bad teacher can impact a student negatively for up to 4 years. How much more can a bad parent?
It begs the question, what does such a person expect? What do they understand? Do you judge the penmanship of your child’s math homework as well or just check for the right answer? It is the experience and the education – NOT the perceived value of the result.
In short, judgements need not apply here. Your child is not going to create master-level work in 45 minutes!
But in the face of such ignorance, I carried on. I exercised “verbal judo” and responded confidently – and without interest in their opinions or asking for further feedback. I stood in my role to enrich the child’s life with the class and I was successful. I would not be a control freak beyond the experience.
I share this painful experience because I’m sure many of you have had a similar experience. The spirit of creation takes a black eye and you can hardly believe what you’re hearing. In the fragile ecosystem of art it’s enough to make many admit defeat.
But I also offer encouragement to you. Great and successful people in all walks of life have similar encounters. What makes them great and successful is the will to continue. Know that you are in a minority and that in itself if rare and special.
Maintain your tenacity and this too will be relegated to a memory with influence but not to incapacitate – to motivate.
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